Forever Broken

“Yes, mon amour. Take what you need—all that I have is yours. Yes.”

This is how he would act if I was inside him. If I was fucking him. The image of himself buried to the hilt in Laurent’s unresisting body flashed across his brain like a comet streaking across the sky, and just as quickly, Paul pushed it away. But just that brief thought, coupled with the feel of the naked, muscular form beneath his own was enough to send him over the edge. He could feel Laurent straining up to meet him and, with a low growl, he pressed down, rubbing hard and letting his aching cock slide against the vampire’s shaft.

Shouldn’t be doing this. Shouldn’t… But the delicious friction of the other man’s cock against his own was too much for even the guilt to overcome. With a guttural roar, Paul felt himself letting go, the cum boiling up from his balls and shooting in short, hard spurts all over both their bellies. As if in answer to Paul’s orgasm, the vampire lost it too. He moaned, bucking up suddenly, and then Paul felt a warm wetness added to his own. Dios, coming…coming so hard… And then all thoughts were lost in the blinding intensity of their mutual release.

For a long moment his mind was a blank. Then as the wave of pleasure receded and his brain began to work again, the enormity of what he’d just done hit him. He had never felt anything like the release he’d just had but he’d had it with another man—and on top of that the other guy was a vampire. Dios, what the fuck is wrong with me? He released his grip on Laurent’s throat and rolled off, staring blankly at the ceiling.

“Paul? Are you well?” Laurent’s green eyes were suddenly blocking his view of the ceiling.

“As well as I can be, I guess.” Paul had the sudden realization that the vampire was really close and both of them were still naked. He sat up suddenly, scooting away from the other man. But the gesture made him dizzy and he had to put his head in his hand to keep the room from spinning. “Feel like I’m gonna be sick.”

“Don’t move too quickly. Here, lie down again—your body needs time to metabolize my blood.”

“Don’t want to lie down.” Paul knew he sounded childish and stubborn but he couldn’t help it. Position was everything in the pack. To deliberately make himself vulnerable by lying on his back while the other man leaned over him went against every instinct he had. Now that he was well enough to sit up, he couldn’t show weakness.

Laurent didn’t fight him about it. Instead he rubbed Paul’s back soothingly, his hand gliding in a long, slow caress up and down Paul’s spine until Paul shivered. He looked at the vampire, frowning. “Could you not do that, man?”

“You don’t wish me to touch you?” Laurent sounded hurt and Paul felt a stab of guilt but it was quickly replaced by anger.

“No, I don’t. After what we just did…” He broke off, uncertain how to finish.

“What we just did healed you,” Laurent pointed out but his voice was still soft, not accusing. “That it was mutually pleasurable was simply a side effect.”

Paul frowned. “A side effect, huh? So we had to be fucking naked while we bit each other or I was going to die? Sorry, man, I don’t buy that.”

“We had to be naked in order for me to warm you up,” Laurent said patiently.

“Although I won’t deny I found the experience most pleasurable.”

“Well I didn’t.” The words burst from Paul’s lips before he thought.

The vamp didn’t say anything but his eyes traveled to the recent evidence of their mutual orgasm still staining Paul’s belly.

“Goddammit!” Paul looked around for something to wipe away his shame but Laurent shook his head.

“Just a moment.” He jumped off the bed and disappeared from the small but luxuriously decorated bedroom. Paul heard water running and then the vampire was back with a wet washcloth. He got back on the bed and held it out. “I don’t suppose you’ll allow me to clean you.”

“I can do it myself.” Paul snatched the warm wet cloth and scrubbed angrily at his flat belly.

Laurent watched him for a moment before speaking. “I am sorry if what we did upset you but you cannot deny the connection between us.”

“There’s no fucking connection.” Paul threw the washcloth to one side. “I came here because I needed help. Not because I wanted to do…what we did.”

“You appeared to enjoy it as much as I did.”

“I was half dead. Out of my mind. I didn’t know what I was doing!” The words rang false but Paul didn’t care. He needed a reason, an explanation, an excuse. Despite all the forbidden thoughts he’d had running around in his brain from the first time he’d gotten a hard-on and learned what his cock was for, he’d never actually acted on any of them before. And I’m not going to act on them again. There’s no way I would have done that shit if I’d been in my right mind.