Forever Broken

Laurent looked sad. “Is that really what you want? Do you not even wish to contemplate a friendship between us?”

Paul wanted to contemplate a hell of a lot more than that. In the golden glow of the lamp beside the couch Laurent’s skin seemed to have a radiance of its own and Paul could clearly see the small pink buds of his nipples. His eyes traveled up from the flat planes of the other man’s chest to his full red lips and he couldn’t help remembering how good Laurent’s mouth tasted.

For a moment he allowed himself to wonder how it would feel to have those lips wrapped around his cock. He was already rigid and achingly hard just from being in the same room as the other man. How would it be if he peeled down his jeans and offered Laurent a free pass to do anything he wanted? Laurent’s mouth would be hot and wet and he would swirl his tongue around the head of Paul’s cock before taking him deep in his throat and— “Stop it!” Laurent’s voice was harsh, snapping Paul out of the forbidden fantasy.

He looked up. “What?”

“You know very well what.” A combination of anger and lust burned in the vampire’s pale green eyes. “You are not only tormenting yourself with such thoughts but me as well.” He stepped closer and suddenly he was on his knees in front of Paul.

“Do you not know that I long to suck you? I am so hungry for your touch, so eager to taste you…” He put his hands on Paul’s thighs and leaned forward so that his chest was almost brushing the straining ridge of Paul’s shaft, trapped behind his jeans. “I would take your cock in my mouth now if you would let me.”

“You really want to do that?” Despite his fantasies, Paul could scarcely believe it. It was an act of disgrace and degradation in the pack. A sign of failure and banishment.

Laurent frowned, like he was catching some of Paul’s thoughts—which he probably was. “Among the other wolves, you use this as an act of submission and shame?”

“That’s what it is,” Paul said roughly, wishing the other man would get up and stop invading his space. But at the same time he didn’t want Laurent to move—unless it was to come closer. Dios, he was so mixed up. He curled his hands into fists on his thighs to keep from reaching for the other man. “Why would you want to suck another guy’s cock anyway?”

Laurent’s gaze softened. “To bring pleasure to a lover, to watch his eyes as you take him deep in your mouth, to hear his soft groans as you bring him to the brink of pleasure and push him over. I would give you such pleasure, Paul—if you would let me.”

The pale green eyes promised so much. Let me love you. Let me show you how it can be.

Paul wasn’t sure if he’d actually heard the words or imagined them but they made his entire body tight with longing. Dios, why did the vampire have to be so fucking beautiful? Why couldn’t Paul stop wanting him, wanting to touch him, to taste him and to let Laurent taste him?

For a moment he wavered. But… It’s wrong. Twisted. Sick. Mariposa. Maricon. Queer.

“No.” He pushed away from Laurent and rose quickly, putting distance between them.

“No and don’t fucking ask me again. I’m not like that.”

Laurent sighed deeply and rose smoothly to his feet. “Very well. But if you wish me to refrain from mentioning such subjects, kindly refrain from thinking about them so loudly. Remember that I am attuned to you as you are to me.”

Paul didn’t see how he could help what he was thinking but he gave a curt nod.

“Fine. Now let’s go, okay? I’ll call my stepmother from the road.”

“Very well. Let me pack a few things and we will be on our way.”

“Good.” Paul frowned. “Laurent,” he said as the vampire turned to go.

“What?” The look in Laurent’s eyes was cautious and unhappy.

Paul jammed his hands deep in his pockets. “I just want you to understand something. I’ll go on this trip with you because there’s no other way to get rid of this weird connection. But just because we’re on the road together doesn’t mean I want to get all cozy.”

Laurent frowned. “Meaning?”

“Meaning you need to keep your hands to your fucking self. Understood?”

The look on Laurent’s face went from cautious to completely closed. “You have made yourself perfectly clear. You need not fear any advances from me since you are determined not to acknowledge what lies between us.”

“There’s nothing between us,” Paul insisted, wishing he could feel as certain as he sounded.

Laurent arched an eyebrow. “Then you should not fear my touch.”

“I don’t fear it.” Paul gave him a hard stare. “But I don’t want it either.”