Forever Broken
“It’s dangerous,” he pointed out, fighting the urge to pull Laurent close. “This thing between us—it can hurt us.”
“And how is that different from any other kind of love?” Laurent’s eyes were full of anguish. “Please, Paul, we have two weeks. Let us take that time together to explore our new bond, to let it grow.”
“I…don’t know.” Paul looked down, away from the intense pleading in Laurent’s eyes.
“What is it?” Laurent’s voice was soft, coaxing. “What is holding you back? It’s not just the bond, is it?”
“No, okay?” Paul pulled away and got off the bed to pace. “It’s not just the bond itself. It’s who I’m bonded to. I mean, you’re a guy, Laurent. Another male. I can’t have a guy soul mate. What does that say about me? About us?”
“It says that we love each other—is that so wrong?” Laurent slid off the bed and came to him. “Do you know how rare this is? Do you have any idea of how many people search their whole lives to find their match, to find the one person to complete them and never do? We’re so lucky, Paul—so incredibly fortunate to have found each other. Please…” He took Paul’s hand in his. “Don’t throw it away for some silly notion of gay or straight. This is love—a bond that will last for eternity if we let it.”
Paul sighed and ran his other hand through his hair. He could feel Laurent’s pain through their bond as well as his longing. Need you. Need to be with you. Hold you close, kiss you, love you, touch you, stroke you. Please don’t take yourself away. Please…
“All right,” he said at last. “I know how you feel because I… I feel the same way. I don’t know about eternity but I guess we can at least wait the two weeks and decide then. Only…”
“Only what?” “Won’t waiting make breaking the bond even harder? I mean, the longer we wait…”
“I would rather endure more pain and have you bound to me, even for a little while, than to complete the connection and break it immediately,” Laurent said quietly.
“All right then.” Paul nodded. “We’ll give it two weeks…well, it’s a little less than two weeks now. Anyway, we’ll see how it goes. I’ll have to call my stepmom and tell her I’m staying longer than I thought.” He sighed. “I’m sure my old man will fucking love that.”
“My parents are unlikely to be pleased as well,” Laurent said. “But there comes a time when you have to put familial obligations aside and do what is right for you.” He put his arms around Paul and hugged him tight, fitting his lean body against Paul’s more muscular frame. “This is right for us, mon amour. Of that I am absolutely certain. I only hope I can make you see it at the end of our time together.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Paul murmured. But he made no move to try to get out of the embrace. Laurent simply felt too good in his arms, too right. I’ll give it some time, he promised himself, making sure not to transmit the thought across their bond. A little less than two weeks and then we’ll have to go back to Miami and go back to normal. There’s no way we can keep things the way they are. Can we?
Chapter Thirteen
The time they passed together in Nana’s house was the sweetest of Laurent’s life. It was what he imagined a honeymoon must be like—a real honeymoon, not the kind his people usually took where each partner brought along a bevy of human lackeys and lovers to satisfy both physical and carnal appetites. Instead of all that, it was just him and Paul, getting to know each other and learning the boundaries of their new bond.
They stayed in the guest suite and made love often during the day when it was too bright for Laurent to go out without feeling depleted. During the nights they roamed the historic parts of the city like any other pair of tourists. Paul still wasn’t comfortable holding hands in public but he would often bump Laurent’s shoulder with his own in an affectionate way and more than once he’d grabbed him and pushed him into a dark corner for a passionate kiss. Laurent was always happy when his new lover risked anything in public—it made him hopeful that someday soon Paul wouldn’t mind being physically affectionate where anyone could see. Of course, that couldn’t happen in Miami but maybe if they moved someplace with a more enlightened attitude. California perhaps or even some part of Europe…
Though he knew it wasn’t realistic, Laurent entertained himself daydreaming about such things. He imagined himself and Paul in a small house somewhere, perhaps by the sea so they could hear the surf pounding on the beach. In the tiny, quiet beach town no one would care if they held hands or kissed in public. Paul would have his own shop and build custom motorcycles—a dream he had confessed to Laurent after a leisurely session of lovemaking the second day at Nana’s house. Laurent would write or perhaps teach night school classes at the local community college. Though his parents had thought it stupid and romantic, he had insisted on getting a degree in literature from Oxford some years back. He wondered now if the impulse to become employable in the human world had been the first stepping stone to building his own life…a life away from his parents and the vampire aristocracy.