Ruin (Ruin 1)

“Define ‘fine’?” I laughed, the sound harsh in my quiet room. “If dying is fine, then yeah, I’ll be fine. If living for a few more months while my body gets slowly stolen away from me by unhealthy cells, then yup. Fine, fine, fine, so damn, fine.” I wiped my face with my hands and groaned.

“She doesn’t know, does she?” Gabe asked.

“Hell, no.”

“Don’t tell her.”

“What?” My head snapped up. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“It will only freak her out, especially since you’re going to be fine, right?” He gave me a confident smile. “You can beat it.”

It was the first time someone had said that to me.

Everyone else had been so concerned. David about the symptoms, my dad about depression, nobody — not even the doctor — had told me I was strong enough to take it.

I nodded jerkily, trying not to cry like a baby and said, “You’re right. I will beat it.”

“Or I’ll beat you.” Gabe laughed. “For not only breaking her heart but dying after Homecoming. I mean, seriously? Even you have to admit how messed up that is.”

“Yeah, well.” I kicked off my shoes and lay down on the bed. “I like her. I want to spend time with her and time isn’t something I really have. It’s a luxury you know? People don’t realize how lucky they are. Do you even realize how much it pisses me off when people complain about silly things like their lunch being crappy or their coffee tasting bad? I would drink shitty coffee and eat rotten food for the rest of my life if I could just have a life. You know?”

“Yeah,” Gabe said softly. “I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but I can imagine how bad that would suck, to know that you may not be here to enjoy even the shitty things life has to offer, because at least you’d be here, at least you’d be—”

“Alive,” I finished. “I’d be alive.”

“So live now,” Gabe challenged. “Go kiss that freshman you convinced me you had no feelings for.”

“I plan on it.” My grin was so wide it hurt.

“Good talk.” Gabe laughed. “I’ll just show myself out.”

“Gabe?” I asked once he reached the door.

He turned and waited.

“Thanks for listening.”

He gave me a salute. “Yeah, well, I’m still going to kick your ass if you break her heart.”

“Don’t worry. I imagine she’s going to be the one doing the breaking.”

“How do you figure?” He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.

“Because in the end, I won’t have anything to give her that’s worth having.”

“Do yourself a favor.” Gabe pushed away from the door, “Let her be the one to make that choice in the end. Not you.”

I nodded. Yeah, I could do that. I owed her that much, and I’d sure as hell die trying. I smirked at the double meaning.

Gabe waved goodbye and walked off. Who would have thought Gabe had a heart? Or that he was that deep? Just goes to show what you miss in life when you aren’t really looking.

Seek and you’ll find.

Act like an ass and you’ll only see your reflection in the mirror.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Holy crap. I was going to eat turkey in front of Randy Michels. Uncle Jobob was going to flip!