Ruin: Part Three (Ruin 3)

Chapter 17

"I don't like secrets, Ben."

We're under the covers now. I can hear him breathing peacefully. His hand is moving slowly up and down my hip.

"I don't want secrets between us."

I scratch my nose. My stomach is flopping around so heavily within my body that I'm surprised he can't feel it against his side. "I know something about Noah that I think you should know. It may not matter, but it's your right to know it."

"Is it something Noah told you about me?" He doesn’t move. "I know Noah has talked about me to you. You know most of what happened between us."

I nod against his chest. I should pull myself up so I'm looking right at him when I say this. "Alexa actually told me something yesterday."

"What did she tell you?" His hand is on my chin now, running along my jawbone.

I adjust myself, grabbing his hand with my own. I bring it to my lips and hold it against them. I need to be as close to him as possible. "She told me Noah did something to protect me."

"Whatever that it is, I'm grateful to him for that."

I smile up at him. "Noah wants the best for me."

"I'm the best for you," he says quickly. "I know that I am. That's why I want to tell you how I feel."

I pull his hand closer to my lips again. "Let me say this first."

His brow jumps up. "Say it, Kayla."

"Alexa told me that Noah hired a private investigator to look at your life when he knew that we were getting close."

His lips part slightly as if he's going to say something. It's in that moment that I feel him pull away. He yanks his hand free of mine, before he slides his body out from under the sheet.

"Ben?" I call after him as he walks quickly out of the room. I hear his footsteps along the hardwood floor and then there's nothing but total silence.

I turn over. I feel the panic before it hits my body. I'm nauseous. I threw that at him without any warning at all. He was just starting to feel close to Noah again and I tossed it at him like a live hand grenade. I should have gone to Noah. I should have fucking gone to Noah and confronted him about this so he could tell Ben himself.

I reach down in the darkness looking for Ben's robe. I saw it on the chair near the window earlier. It's here. I know it is. I have to stop and catch my breath.

"Kayla?" His voice is behind me. "Kayla, turn around."

I do just as his hand touches the light switch. The sudden brilliant light that floods the bedroom blinds me momentarily and I cover my eyes with my hands. "It's too bright, Ben."

"I'm sorry." I hear movement behind me. "I'll dim the light."

I heave a sigh of relief as I slide my hands into my lap. I'm still not facing him. "I didn't mean to just throw that at you. I know it must make you feel violated. I would feel that way if…"

I hear his heavy footsteps coming closer. Then I see his legs. He's holding something. "Noah gave me this yesterday."

I look at his hands. He's holding a manila folder overflowing with papers.

"Noah told me about it. He gave it all to me to destroy." He hands it to me. "You can read it if you want."

I stare at it. It's Ben's entire life all in one place. Every bank transaction he's ever made, every job he's ever held, and all the places he's lived are documented in the papers falling out of the folder.

"He gave you this?"

He swallows hard before he sits next to me. "I have nothing to hide. If doing this helped Noah trust me again, I'm glad he did it. If reading it helps you in any way, I want you to do that."

"You're not angry?" There's more excitement in my tone than surprise. "How can you not be angry?"