"Nathan." Her voice pulls me back to reality. "You're making me nervous. What is it?"
"I want you to understand something first." I motion to one of the two office chairs that sit in front of my desk. "Sit down, Jessica."
She acquiesces and crosses her legs. Her hands pull together in a nervous huddle on her lap. "Just say it."
I scan her face, noting how knotted her brow looks. She's worried. It's the same expression she had on her face three months ago when I told her that I was considering moving back to Boston to accept a position at a firm there. It was a fleeting fantasy that would give me more time with my sister and her kids. I hadn't considered it seriously because I know that Jessica's life is here now. After being accepted into culinary school, any career plans I may have seem trivial compared to hers. Cooking is her passion. Being a lawyer is my job. My passion is her.
"Do we have to move?" Her voice cracks only slightly with the question. "Where do you want us to move to now?"
The question bites through me but not because of the obvious disappointment that is woven into each of the words, but because she's willing. I slip my suit jacket off before lowering myself into the chair next to her. I reach for her hands, pulling them into my own. "We're not moving anywhere."
I see the relief leave her shoulders and face. She holds tightly to my hands. "Tell me, Nathan. Please tell me."
The sound of my name on her lips pushes me forward. No one says it the way Jessica does. I've never told her but I sometimes deliberately let her calls go to voicemail so I can listen to her saying my name in the messages she leaves me. "I'm being considered for partner."
Her body stalls and her mouth falls open slightly. It's distracting, way too fucking distracting for me to continue. How the hell am I supposed to talk about the vetting process now? Christ, I wish I had asked her to suck me off this morning.
"Partner?" Her bottom lips juts out. It's not helping. It's only reminding me how she pulls her lips slowly over the head of my dick as she strokes the length with her hands. "You mean it will be Avery, Davidson and Moore?"
It's the first time I've heard anyone say it other than myself. I only nod in response, watching the way her eyes are darting from my face to my desk.
"Nathan, I'm so…" She moves her body to the edge of her chair. Her hands jump to my shoulders. She closes her eyes and swallows hard.
"Jessica," I say her name slowly and deliberately, wanting to pull her back from wherever her mind has wandered. I need her to understand that it won't change anything between us. "It's not a done deal yet."
Her eyes open slowly and I'm instantly pulled into them. I watch as a tear falls down her cheek, pulling with it a faint line of black mascara.
"What's wrong?" My thumb darts to curb the tear, pulling it into my flesh. "Jessica, tell me."
"I'm so proud of you, Nathan." A small smile pulls at the corner of her mouth. "I'm so proud of you."
Chapter 2
"When will they make a decision?" Her tone is just as giddy as it was when I first told her about the potential partnership ten minutes ago. "I'm so excited."
"In a few weeks." I pull my thumb over her lip. "They're considering a few of the other attorneys for it too."
"Why?" Her brows pop up with the question. "Who could be better than you?"
I love her exuberance. I love that she sees the best in me now. The beginning of our relationship was a twisted maze of confusion. All of my past one night stands had clouded Jessica's perception of me. I'd worked hard to prove to her that I was honorable, good and completely in love with her. We're in a great place now and seeing how thrilled she is at my news only solidifies my need to get her to marry me.
"Marry me." I toss the words out so nonchalantly that her head almost snaps back.
"You didn't just say that." Her hands bolt to the arms of the chair. "Tell me you didn't just ask me to marry you again."
"I did," I say sheepishly. "I told you I'd ask you every day until you said yes."
"Nathan." Her tone is even and unreadable. "That's not romantic."
It's a weak argument but it's enough to move the conversation away from the one subject she's always avoiding. "I'll take that as a no?" I push my luck.
"When will you find out about the partnership?" Her eyes bore into me. "Will you tell me as soon as you know?"
I nod, soaking in the wide grin on her face. "We have to talk about something else too. I didn't ask you to come down here just to tell you about my work."
She scans my face quickly and I see the veil of disappointment that hovers beneath her gaze. "What is it?" The question seems genuine but we both know it's just a courtesy. She knows what I'm about to bring up. It’s a topic she's been hedging around skillfully for weeks. Time is running out though and I need to press this. Not just for her, but for me too.
"It's about the wedding." I tap my finger over the tip of your nose. "Your sister emailed me again last night. She needs an answer, Jessica."