Impulse - The Companion to Pulse (Pulse 4.50)

"Please not now." Her finger touches my knee. "Maybe you can ask tomorrow."

"It's not about that." I inch forward so I can cradle her hand in my own. "It's about something else."

"Did you make partner?" The giddiness in her tone is infectious. We haven't talked about my work in days. I know that they'll be making a decision about the partnership within the next two days. I have high hopes. I want it more than I'm willing to admit.

"Not yet," I kiss her palm. "I'll call you about that as soon as I know."

She squeezes my hands in hers. "Promise?"

"I always tell you everything right away, Jessica." I do. Well, almost everything. I haven't told her about the agreement yet. She hasn’t brought it up.

She relaxes her grip on my hand. "What's it about then?"

"I took that agreement you signed to an attorney friend of mine." I steel myself for her inevitable reaction.

"No, you didn't do that." Denial. It's not what I expected, but I'll take it over anger.

"I did." I see no reason to skirt around this. I did it for her. I did it with the hope that one day she'd get to stand in front of her daughter and see her precious face in person.

She pulls her hands together. I watch in silence as she traces her left thumb nail over the right. "There's no hope, is there?"

I have to tell her now. This is the moment in time when I confess to her. "Do you want to see her, Jessica?"

Her eyes fill instantly with tears. Her bottom lip qui

vers slightly. "I want to see her more than anything."

"It would only be once." I hold steadfast to her hand. "You can see her one time and you can't tell her who you are."

Her entire body rocks forward. The sobs overwhelm her. "I want that. Please, please let me have that."

***

"I don't understand how you made it happen." Her hand is holding so tightly to mine that I wonder if all honesty if she's going to break my fingers.

I don't want to explain all the pointed details to her. Blackmail isn't my thing. Legally it can't be my thing. I could lose my license to practice law for this stunt but I knew that the Governor would give me what I wanted. "I called Thomas after my friend reviewed the agreement. He agreed to this one meeting." I don't offer more. I can't.

"I can't thank you enough for this." She pulls in a heavy breath before her hand drops from mine. I watch in silence as she plays with the buttons on the simple white dress she chose to wear.

"I wanted you to have this, Jessica." I had. After learning that there was nothing in the agreement that would give Jessica access to her daughter, I took matters into my own hands. I called the Governor, and taped our conversation. He confessed to everything with Jessica. He couldn’t shut his fucking mouth about how good she was in bed and how he'd trade his wife in for her. All I had to do was play that back to him an hour later.

"Does she know her mother isn't her mother?" Her brow rises with the question. "I mean…you know what I mean."

I wrap my arm around her shoulder. "She has no idea."

She nods slowly. I can see the information sinking in. "I can't say anything to her about who I am?" It's the same question she's asked me seven times since we left our apartment to come to the Museum of Modern Art.

"Thomas will introduce us both as old friends," I say as I adjust the collar of her dress. "If you don't feel strong enough, you squeeze my hand and we'll leave."

"No." She shakes her head. "I won't do that. I'm strong."

She's remarkably strong. It's taking every small bit of strength that she carries within her to do this. She understands completely that this may be the only time she'll speak to her daughter in her lifetime. She gets that. Yet, she's found the courage to do this. I've told her over and over again how much I admire her. I do. She's stronger than I can ever hope to be.

"They'll be here soon." I motion to a large clock on the wall. "I told him to meet us here at one."

She glances past me to the wall. "It's almost one."

I nod. "You're sure this is what you want?" It's a futile question. It's all she's wanted since I told her it was her one chance to see Jenna.