Closing my eyes, I breathe deeply and allow my mind to go there. As it has been for the last few sessions, thankfully, there is no recoil from the memories. Flicking through them, I can consider them thoughtfully and without shame.

“They were the actions of a scared kid who was in pain and trying to deal with it the only way they knew how. I wanted to feel good again. I wanted to feel in control of my body. Sex, even though I hated what he did to me... it felt good. Since I wanted to feel good and I knew sex felt good, I picked the person and I said yes. It was all I knew, so it was all I could do.

I feel sorry for that kid. It was me but it isn’t anymore. I know enough I’m not ashamed of what I did. If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t have done it, but if I hadn’t I probably would have done something worse to myself. I chose sex over drugs and alcohol to numb the pain, and if I hadn’t then I might have never been able to pull out of that tailspin.”

Her relief is palpable. “And if someone you knew and respected found out, how would you feel?”

The idea of Elise knowing has been in the back of my mind. There is a part of me afraid it will come out. Now, knowing how Elise feels and thinks of me, I’ve been even more afraid of losing her respect. Yet that fear is gone, and I know I can’t deny who I was, but it isn’t who I am now. “I don’t think the concern of a loss of respect will ever go completely away. However, if I do lose their respect, that person doesn’t really know me and care about me and I can’t control their response. It happened, a long time, and I’ve changed. It isn’t who I am and doesn’t define me.”

Her smile is wide. “And now you finally are getting it. We’re getting there, Kate. So, tell me, how are the wedding plans going?”

Chapter Fifteen

The house is full with the arrival of Trey’s father, his brother Alan, and Alan’s fiancée Tiffany. There is also Elise’s brother and his wife with their three children and wives. Tiffany’s parents are coming but are thankfully in a hotel a few miles away. For reasons I’m not quite sure of, Tiffany’s sister and her wife are also coming. Elise mumbled something about Tiffany’s ego, but not loudly, and only to me as I questioned how the guestlist had gotten so large. Trey’s godparents live in Chicago and will be there for the day, but are in the house for the rehearsal dinner.

I asked and Edward agreed, with tears in his eyes, to walk me down the aisle. With the wedding in only two days, the stress is getting to me, and Trey sees it. He has become very good at making it all disappear in our bedroom, however as the day wears on, so do I. Work was a refuge until it became a long, drawn-out discussion where I wasn’t allowed to voice my thoughts. Why am I still working? When am I going to quit? Trey did his best, still it continued until I wanted to escape. Elise ended it all with a rude word and saying it was no one’s business. I’m pretty sure I love her almost as much as I love Trey.

Escaping into the library, I enjoy a few moments of quiet. I stiffen to hear the door open, and almost faint with relief to see Trey.

“You should see the look on your face. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I love you. I know this isn’t easy, and you are holding up so well. I’m proud of you.”

“I love you too, but all I can think of is how appealing Vegas sounds right now.”

Trey laughs and pulls me up from the new overstuffed chair we bought to replace my old one. “Hmm, it could make an interesting destination for a honeymoon.”

“We get to

go on a honeymoon?” He hasn’t mentioned it before.

“Of course. It’s the best part out of all this. Thoughts or suggestions you want to add?” His hands slide my thong to the side.

“How can you ask a question when you know I can’t think when you do that?”

“Easy, very easy. Turn around, sweetheart, and bend over. Perfect. I adore this beautiful ass of yours. I love how wet and ready you are for me. Shh, no moaning, sweetheart. You want my cock, it’s yours.” His teasing is making me crazy as he slides the head of his cock along the lips of my wet pussy. Again and again he rubs until I think I’m going to scream. Finally, he slides in hard and deep. It’s the pace he sets with each thrust and it isn’t long before I come in a crash that has me shaking beneath Trey’s continued thrusts. When he comes, he moans my name and holds me close as his shudders die away.

With a kiss on my neck, he gives me a final hug before letting me go. “I love how you know when to give the best stress relief ever.”

“Goes both ways, my love. All these people stress me out too. You are doing a very good job. Only two more days, we’ll make it.”

“If you say so,” I murmur into his mouth.

“I say so. I know you, and you are so much more than you think you are.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too. Come on or they’ll come looking for us.”

***

The day is bright and clear and beautiful, a perfect day for a wedding. Even though it’s the first weekend of October and slightly cool, I don’t even shiver as Edward walks me down the short white runner to Trey. Trey is gorgeous and smiling wide as I walk toward him. When it comes time to say our vows, it’s easy to say the words I never thought I would speak. His voice is loud and proud, and our kiss is firm but nowhere near as hot as our eyes when they meet.

Surprisingly, Trey whisks me away only hours into the party. I couldn’t be happier when I’m practically stuffed into the car. I have no idea where we are going. Trey only told me it was a surprise. My suitcase was packed by Trey last night without me being allowed to see what was in it.

I’m surprised to see a Learjet waiting. Every once in a while the sight of Trey’s wealth throws me. The flight is easy and smooth, and we spend the entire flight in the bedroom. When the voice of the pilot comes on warning to prepare for landing, we sigh as we begin to dress.

The pilot also gives the time and weather of London. I gasp in surprise.

Trey chuckles. “I had fantasies of beaches and you naked the whole time, but I knew this was what you wanted. So now we get to roam the city, and we’ll even go over to Ireland for a look.”

Tags: Fiona Murphy Erotic
Source: readsnovelonline.net