The Fatherhood Affair

There was no way that Natalie could see where she could come out of it well. Her heart cramped as she imagined Damien saying, ‘At least I know what to expect with Lyn. She won’t be checking me out with all and sundry behind my back. Nor will she be flinging false and unfair accusations in my face.’

Natalie sagged back in the car-seat and closed her eyes. She had made a bed of nails for herself in not trusting Damien. How on earth was she going to climb out of it without lasting injury?

She remembered the words she had flung at him at Merlinmist...’How can you ever be forgiven?’ When she considered his patience, his caring, his unstinting giving to her, how could she ever be forgiven for accusing him of motives that related entirely to Brett?

‘This is it, lady.’

Natalie’s eyes flew open. She stared out at the block of apartments that contained the home Damien had made for himself. What was she going to do? What could she say?

‘Want to change your mind again?’ the driver asked cheerfully.

The memory of their parting at Merlinmist came rushing back to her... Damien’s concern that he be told if she had conceived...a man who took his responsibilities seriously. She had put such an outcome to the back of her mind, not wanting to think about it or deal with it. But it was a way back to him, a far more effective way than trying to excuse her doubts and fears. If she was pregnant, delivering the news to Damien would give her the opportunity to demonstrate she now believed all he had told her.

Hopefully, it would also spike Lyn’s guns!

‘Driver, I need to go to a chemist shop. Do you know where there might be one open?’

‘No problem,’ he said, sounding amused.

Natalie flushed. He probably thought she was considering a ‘hot date’, and wanted to come prepared for all eventualities.

He drove straight to a shopping centre along one of the streets in Collaroy and parked outside a chemist’s, engine and meter still running. Natalie rather unnecessarily asked him to wait. The driver was happily aware he was on easy money with this fare.

She purchased a pregnancy test-kit, enquiring of the pharmacist how long after conception would the test give a definitive result. He informed her that the tests were so sensitive now, it was possible to get a result within a couple of days. It would be accurate provided she followed the instructions accompanying the kit. Satisfied with this information, Natalie returned to the taxi.

‘Back to the Narrabeen address, please, driver.’

‘Whatever you like, lady,’ he agreed, grinning from ear to ear.

Natalie felt considerably lighter-hearted herself. Of course, she might not be pregnant, but the test was, at least, a decisive place to start for formulating a plan to recover the ground she had lost with Damien.

Then a terrible thought struck her. If she had conceived last week...and if Damien had slept with Lyn on the rebound...and Lyn had deliberately missed taking whatever contraceptive pill she would probably have been using with Julian...both of them could be pregnant to Damien. The thought of Damien becoming a father twice over at almost the same time made Natalie’s hair rise.

It lent an extra urgency to using the test.

She could hardly make Damien’s choice for him, but Natalie was not about to stand back and let Lyn make all the running where Damien was concerned. Certainly she could not afford to let a month go by before contacting him, pregnant or not. Somehow, she had to counteract the damage she had done in turning on him as she had at Merlinmist.

Once back at Narrabeen, Natalie paid off the taxi-driver, adding a tip that inspired him to wish her the best of luck. She would need every bit of it, she thought, wondering if Lyn was with Damien right at this moment, giving him her version of today’s meeting, undermining Natalie’s credibility with malice aforethought.

The instructions on the test-kit advised that early morning was the best time to carry out the test, when urine had been stored in the bladder for four hours.

Natalie spent a restless night. Damien’s protests kept preying on her mind... ‘Do I have to wait for another car accident? Another lifetime?’

She still had no recollection of the day of the accident. She suspected that Damien had revealed his desire for her and she had reacted badly, colouring his motives with Brett’s attitudes. Had that come as a shock to him, finding himself put in another man’s shoes?

Would she ever have accepted Damien’s pursuit of her had she not lost her memory? Probably not. The emotional garbage from her marriage was mountainous. Only by having it cleared away for a while had she been able to see Damien in a different light. It was now paramount she convince him that the return of her memory would not form a running sore between them, a sore which would never heal.

Otherwise, Lyn could win.

It was with mixed feelings that Natalie carried out the test the next morning. It was wrong to use a child to hold a man. She couldn’t...wouldn’t do it. If Damien showed any sign of being unsure about their future together, she would not push for the marriage she now wanted. On the other hand, she could and would let him know where he stood with

her.

The result was positive.

Relief and joy were swiftly followed by a sense of wonderment. She was going to have another child. Would it be a girl this time? It would be lovely to have a daughter, although of course a son would be just as welcome. The impulse to share the news with Damien had Natalie rushing to the telephone.

But telling him wasn’t enough. She needed to be with him, to watch his face, to see how he responded to the confirmed fact of her having his child. That would tell her more than anything else how matters stood between them.