The Problem with Forever

She walked in as I sat on the bed, crossing my legs. “Rider.”

That was all she said, so I nodded.

Rosa perched on the edge of the bed, her body angled toward me. “How are you really feeling about this, Mallory? Rider was a big deal to you. For months when you first came to live here, you asked about the boy. It was, for the longest time, the only thing you would say. So I know this is big.”

I nibbled on the inside of my cheek, wondering if I should shrug the whole thing off, but one quick peek at Rosa told me that wasn’t going to work. She knew better. “I’m...excited,” I admitted. “I’m happy. Mainly because I know he’s okay, and I can see him.”

She nodded. “I get that. I understand feeling that way.”

Exhaling slowly, I grabbed the thick bobby pin off the nightstand and twisted my hair up. I knew there was more coming. I was right.

“Carl and I were caught a little off guard at dinner,” she continued, tone gentle. “Why didn’t you mention him yesterday?”

Ah, good question. “I didn’t... I don’t know. I thought you two might be...worried.”

Her dark gaze searched my face. “Worried about what?”

I shrugged.

Rosa glanced down at where my hands rested between my crossed legs. “Is there something we should be worried about?”

Well, that felt like a loaded question.

She reached over and tapped my leg. “I’m going to be honest with you, like we’ve always been, okay?”

I nodded. Here it comes, I thought.

“We are worried. A little. Your ending up at the same school as Rider never crossed our minds. Starting school is a big enough change, but adding him into the equation? We don’t want you to be overwhelmed.”

“I’m not,” I replied, curling my hands together.

She smiled faintly. “School is a lot to deal with. Rider is a lot to deal with. It may not feel that way right this instant, but honey, he’s from a time in your life we don’t want you focusing on anymore.”

“I’m...not focused on my past.”

Rosa said nothing.

My pulse started to pick up. “Rider is from my past, but seeing him doesn’t make me... I don’t know. It doesn’t make me feel bad.”

“I wouldn’t think it did.” She paused, seeming to choose her next words carefully. “We just worry about how this is going to affect all the progress you’ve made. Nobody’s denying that your past is an important part of who you are. And I’m the first to admit that I’m grateful to Rider for all he did to protect you back then, especially since he was just a kid himself. But you’ve come such a long way from the terrified girl we first met. You’ve worked so hard to become the poised young woman you are now. We don’t want Rider’s presence to...interfere with any of that.”

I opened my mouth, but I really had no idea what to say.

“Maybe it won’t be too much,” she added. “Maybe we’re just worrying about nothing.” There was a pause and then she smiled. “Either way, we’re glad that you told us about him.”

I wasn’t.

“And we want you to keep telling us about him,” she added. Rosa patted my leg and then rose, moving toward the door. “How about some ice cream? I think there’s some caramel left from when Carl picked it up. Sound good?”

Caramel ice cream topping always sounded good, so I nodded.

As Rosa quietly closed the door behind her, I squeezed my eyes shut and flopped onto my back. Staring up at the ceiling, I thought about the tiny bedroom I’d stayed in with Rider. The ceiling here was smooth as snow. In the other house, it had been cracked and splintered, reminding me of a spiderweb.

I bit down on my lip.

Telling them about Rider had been the right thing to do. I mad

e them proud. My lip escaped my teeth. But telling them also wasn’t the brightest idea I’d ever had, because even if Rosa was okay with Rider being back, I knew Carl wasn’t.