The Problem with Forever

I nodded again.

He scrubbed a hand over the close-croppe

d curls. “Why don’t you talk? I mean, you can. I’ve heard you. So why not talk, like, you know, all the time?”

Don’t make a sound.

Those four words echoed in my thoughts as I struggled now to get my tongue to work. Would “conditioning” make sense if I gave Jayden that explanation, or would he think I was weird? Probably weird. Dr. Taft had explained to Rosa and Carl that my lack of...speaking came from PTSD and that I had been conditioned to be as quiet as possible. I’d done research on the whole conditioning thing and learned all about Pavlov’s dog. At least I didn’t drool when a bell was rung. I’d just been trained through negative reinforcement to not make a sound, to not be seen or heard.

“You know, it’s all right. No worries. Like I said the other day, I’ll do the talking. It’s kind of like my thing. You know what they say about me, muñeca? That I can sell ice to an Eskimo. I’m just that cool and charmin’.” With his grin, I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. “I think that’s what I’ll do once I get out of this damn place. Go into sales. I’d rock that shit.” He paused. “Unlike Paige. If she was tryin’ to sell somethin’, she’d just piss that person off.”

I drew in a shaky breath. “How can...Rider like her?”

He stopped and looked up at me. “Paige?”

“I’m sorry,” I immediately said, thinking of how Rider explained that Paige had known Hector and Jayden since they were young. “She’s your friend and...”

“Yeah, she’s my friend, but she ain’t actin’ right with you, so you don’t need to apologize. She’s not like that with Rider. And I doubt she’d act that way when he’s around. She wouldn’t pull any crap with him.”

Jayden pulled out a phone from his pocket—a new, shiny and large cell phone. He hit the screen, quickly scanning a text message. His brows knitted. “Anyway, just ignore Paige. You probably already...”

Jayden trailed off, and when I looked up, we were near my homeroom class, but that wasn’t what he was staring at. Up ahead, a really big dude was coming down the hall. Had to be a senior—a senior that might’ve repeated the final grade a year or three. He was staring at Jayden in the way that other guy was eyeballing him the first time I’d seen Jayden.

“Mierda,” Jayden muttered, and then started backing up. He glanced at me. “Check you later, muñeca.”

There was no chance to respond. He wheeled around and started power-walking down the hall, hitching up the back of his pants with one hand.

“Yo! Jayden,” the older boy shouted, picking up his pace. “Where you going, bro?”

Glancing back, I saw Jayden round the corner, and when I looked up, his older brother appeared out of freaking nowhere, coming up behind the guy. Hector’s jaw was clenched as he clapped a hand down on the guy’s shoulder.

“What’s going on, Braden?” Hector demanded.

Braden wheeled around, shrugging Hector’s hand off his shoulder. Anger colored his tone. “You know exactly what is going on. Jerome is pissed, because of your stupid brother, and that shit rolls down. It ain’t gonna roll on me. He needs to get right—”

I ducked into my class just as my homeroom teacher ambled out into the hall, calling both of the boys’ names. I worried my lower lip as I hurried to the open seat in the back. Nearly every time I saw Jayden, trouble hovered. That couldn’t be good.

Then it hit me with the power of a speeding truck as I took my seat and the tardy bell rang, and thoughts of Jayden floated away. I realized I’d done something I’d never, ever done before.

I stood up to Paige.

It had only been three words.

But I’d done it. I’d stood up for myself.

Chapter 13

My sense of accomplishment was strong, a bright spot in the day that glowed throughout lunch and into my afternoon classes. I sat with Keira again. I also didn’t talk, but no one seemed to be bothered by the lack of communication on my part.

Standing up to Paige was huge. Like climbing-Mount-Everest-and-not-dying level of huge. It had been Jayden who’d intervened twice now, but this time, it had been me. Might not have been much, but it had been all me.

Only when I was heading out of my next-to-last class did my stomach start doing somersaults again. Speech was next. The morning and my small victory felt like forever ago. Not only was I going to have to show my face again, but I was also going to have to see Paige once more.

Gathering up my textbook, I shoved it into my bag and stood. If I’d thought walking this morning had been like pushing through wet cement, this was like trudging through quicksand laced with cement.

But as I looked across the hall, my heart skipped in my chest. Wrong reaction, so wrong, but there was no stopping it.

Rider was waiting outside the classroom, leaning against the lockers across from the class, hands shoved in the pockets of the worn jeans with frayed edges.