The Problem with Forever

Should I have soda or some food?

You normally have that stuff at the house anyway. So yes? I guess.

Ainsley was right. I already had those things and I was being stupid, but as I stared at her message, I wondered if it was smart to bring him here. Maybe studying at my house was too...too intimate and also not the coolest idea.

As much as Paige was a complete jerk to me, she had valid reasons. Rider coming over to my house would just be another reason for her to dislike me.

My mind raced over the possibilities. We could just go to the library. They had private study rooms. Going there would fix the problem about what snacks to serve. There would be no makeup retouching. That was probably another good thing. I wasn’t that great at putting makeup on and my face couldn’t handle a lot. Ainsley, on the other hand, could teach the beauty vloggers a thing or two.

Satisfied with my decision, I relaxed.

I think I’ll just ask if we can go to the library.

A couple of moments passed before she responded.

Um. Why?

I think it’s just smarter, I sent back after a few seconds. His girlfriend wouldn’t be happy with him being at my house.

Who cares about his girlfriend?

Ainsley!!!

I’m just kidding, she typed back. Though you’d think if it was a problem, he wouldn’t have agreed to come over to your house in the first place.

Good point.

It’s just easier to go to the library.

The bubble reappeared.

You’re weird, but I still love you and I have a question for you. A serious question. Totes serious.

My brows rose.

Okay.

Do you like Rider, like really like him?

The knots were making another appearance, but for a totally different reason. Did I like him, like him? The knots were pretty telling, but saying it made it real and something I couldn’t take back.

And I couldn’t make it real.

I liked Rider, really liked him, in a way that was so different than when we were kids. It was like being twelve all over again, but the crush this time around was much more powerful. And I knew it wasn’t right to have those feelings. He had a girlfriend and no matter how much I liked him, that wouldn’t change. I was okay with that. I had to be. What I was beginning to realize I felt for him belonged only to me.

It was all mine and no one else needed to know about it.

I exhaled slowly.

I didn’t respond, but Ainsley did with:

That’s what I thought.

I waited for her to say more, but when she didn’t, I typed:

Are you still there?

A minute or two passed and then her bubble popped up.