Bloodlust (Dark Hollow Wolf Pack 9)

Gabe and Nicky looked at each other, and Cade leaned up to murmur in his ear. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anymore. We’ll discuss it later. ”

“No, I really don’t mind. ” Jax was almost surprised to find that it was true. For so many years, he’d had to hide who he was from everyone around him, along with what was happening in his own home, and it had eaten him upinside. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t ashamed to be in love with another man and to show that love openly, like Nicky and Gabe did, without fear. It was kind of a heady feeling.

“My-my mom left us when Mason was a baby. I just came home from school one day and she’d left a note. ” He looked down into the campfire. “I was in the sixth grade. ” He looked back up at Gabe. “I think my stepfather wanted to get rid of us too, but he was a coach at the high school, and he didn’t want people to know how much of a burden he really thought we were, me and Mason. ”

Cade must have been

sensing something, because he stirred restlessly beside Jax. “Really, Jax, you don’t have to talk about this. ”

Gabe shook his head. “No, Jax. Zack’s right, much as I hate to admit it. I was only being nosy. I know what it’s like to lose your mom, and you really don’t have to get into it. ”

Jax looked up quickly, his eyes bitter and hard. “My mother was a heartless bitch. She knew what he was and she left us with him anyway. She just left us with that…that monster. ” He broke off as tears sprang to his eyes. A shocked, uneasy silence fell over the men. Jax swiped angrily at the tears in his eyes. “God,” he said, his voice shaky. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to do that. ”

Cade put his armaround Jax’s waist and pulled his head into his chest. “It’s fine, baby. I just don’t want you upset. What do you say we look around and pick out where to put the house. Sound good?”

Marco stood up quickly too and started gathering up the cooking utensils to rinse off in the stream. Cade rose to help him, while Zack also sprang up and rambled through his pack to find his toothbrush. He headed off to the stream with Marco and Cade. Gabe, Nicky and Jax sat quietly as the wolves hustled around them. Nicky shrugged and leaned in toward Jax, speaking softly. “They aren’t always comfortable with all our troublesome little human feelings. ”

“Yeah, except, you know, lust. They’re totally down with that,” Gabe said.

Nicky smiled. “It’s not that they don’t care, they just hate having a problem they can’t solve by beating something up for you or making love to you. ”

Jax huffed out a little laugh and dashed at his eyes again. “I know. I don’t know why I ever got into it all. ”

“Because you needed to,” Gabe said. “When I was first turned, it was from a violent attack by a rogue wolf. He bit me after he killed my mom and was in the process of raping me when he was interrupted by a trucker and the cop that was following him into the rest stop. I know a little about what it’s like to be forced and violated. ” Gabe shook his head, lost in his memories for a second. “But to be abused by your own stepfather. Jesus. ”

Jax nodded. “It started when I was twelve, and he kept after me for almost three more years. Not every night or anything, just…sometimes. I could always tell when he was about to start up again. He’d touch me a lot, and say shit. Rub against me. If I resisted, he’d…hurt me. He spent one evening burning me with a lit cigarette until I started screaming so loud the neighbors called the cops. He always had a story for them though, and they believed him—he had a good name in the community, after all. And I was just this weird kid he was trying to help. That’s what everyone thought, anyway. So this one night when I was fifteen, I’d just had enough. I took a knife from the kitchen, and when he tried to get into my bed…”

“Oh God, please tell me you cut his dick off,” Nicky said.

Jax huffed out a little laugh. “No, but I did cut him some. Man, he was so pissed. Scared him a little too, I think. He bled like a pig, but he never bothered me after that. I told him I’d tell the cops, and they’d make him show the scar. After that he left me alone. ”

“But he started up with Mason?” Gabe asked softly.

“Not at first. Mason’s his own son, you know, so I thought he might be safe. I stuck around to make sure too, even though all I wanted to do was put distance between us. He wanted me out, but was afraid to ask me to leave. I got a job stocking groceries. It didn’t pay shit, but it meant I could stay with Mason until maybe he got old enough to defend himself. I don’t know—I didn’t really have much of a plan. I just couldn’t leave him alone with that. Anyway, last month I came home early and found my stepfather with Mason sitting on his damn lap while he stroked himself. He had a huge hard-on—for his eight-year-old son. Made me so fucking sick I jumped on him and beat the shit out of him. The neighbors called the cops, and I got put in jail. As soon as I got out I went back there and got Mason. ”

Nicky cleared his throat. “Damn, Jax. He let you take him?”

“He didn’t let me—no. ”

Gabe stood up. “Okay, I don’t think I want to know any more. ” He thumped Jax on the back. “Good for you, dude. Whatever happened, you did what you had to do. Put that shit behind you now, if you can. ”

Jax and Nicky stood up beside him, and Jax shoved his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t mean I killed him, or anything, though I kinda wanted to. ”

“Are the police looking for you, Jax?” Nicky asked softly. “If they are, tell Cade. He’ll handle it for you. Don’t keep it from him. Believe me, I know from experience the wolves don’t handle secrets well. ”

“Jax!” All three of the young men jumped a little guiltily and turned toward the sound of Cade’s voice. He was still down by the stream and beckoning to Jax. Cade shouted and made the sweeping motion with his arm again. Jax scrambled to his feet and moved down to the bank of the stream where Cade was waiting.

Cade handed Jax his own toothbrush and toothpaste, frowning down at him. “Are you okay?”

Jax smiled as he crouched down by the shallow, fastmoving water. “I’m good. We were just talking. ”

Cade gave him a noncommittal little grunt and turned to follow Marco back up the trail to the camp.

The land where the house was to be built was on a little rise by their camp, and covered by thick forest. They left the campsite by the side of the trail and headed up into the woods with Marco in the lead. As they walked single-file behind him and Nicky, Jax could see that he was following some kind of footpath through the woods and one that, at closer look, seemed to be fairly well-traveled. The ground rose for only about fifty or sixty feet before leveling out and opening up into a small clearing. Marco turned to Cade to point out the stream that ran along the back of the clearing, and down by their campsite.

“You’ll have the trail at your front and water back here. Electricity will have to be from generators, but you can supplement that with oil lamps and propane heaters until you can get the power company to run lines in here. That would be pretty damn expensive though, so you may have to learn to live without it for a while. There’s a little cell service up here, so you’re not completely cut off. We’ll have to widen that trail leading up here. ” He paused and gazed around, looking out over the treetops to the mountain view. “It does have its compensations, though,” he said with a grin. “It’ll take some time to get it the way you want it, but it can definitely be done with enough time and manpower. ”

Jax turned and looked back down the way they’d come and through the trees he could catch a glimpse of the mountains stretching out in front of him. Way in the distance, he could see a lake. Once the trees were cleared a bit, the view would be impressive. He stepped closer to Cade and slipped his hand in his. Cade glanced down at him and grinned.