Reluctant Alpha (Love Slaves of the Alphas 4)

“I’m well aware of what he is to me, Nikolai. I don’t need you to remind me,” Lucas snapped.

Nikolai raised his chin and stared Lucas down. “No matter how upset I was with Jagger, I’d never leave him alone to suffer like that. With you being so upset, the pain must be pretty bad, and this is his home—his mother and his sister we’re talking about. That’s a little hard-ass even for you, isn’t it, Lucas?”

Lucas snarled at him, barely keeping his temper in check. “Why the fuck do you think I’m sitting up here instead of down there in my quarters getting a little sleep? It’s precisely because I am upset with him and it’s hard to control it. The distance mitigates the pain a little, at least. ”

“Not much,” Nikolai said with an accusing snort. “The poor kid must be feeling awful. ”

“Yeah, well, if the poor kid had been honest with me from the beginning, there’s no telling how many lives we could have saved. It’s been three quarter cycles since we mated. Three!”

“But he didn’t know for sure, did he?” Kyle asked. “Didn’t he believe the lies the priestesses were telling everybody—that the babies were being re-assimilated or some such and then reborn as females?”

“That’s what he says, yes. ”

“But you don’t believe him?” Kyle asked.

Lucas sighed. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’m keeping some emotional distance until I can get a little perspective and get my emotions under control. ”

Kyle jammed his hands down into his pockets and looked miserable. “I’m sorry we had a hand in bringing this about, Lucas. If we hadn’t been so insistent about you getting a mate…”

Lucas shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s my mate, Kyle. My fated mate, according to the fucked-up curse, and if I hadn’t met him then, I probably would have some other way. At least I hope so. ” Lucas blew out a long breath. “I love him, damn it. And most of the time I realize it wasn’t his fault—they brainwashed the kid since he was born. Made him pretend to be female, for the gods’ sake. No, intellectually I know he’s innocent, but I just wish he’d told me—trusted me sooner. ”

“Can you really blame him, Lucas?” Nikolai asked softly.

When Lucas angled a surprised and furious glance at him, Nikolai held his ground and glared back at him. “You practically attacked him when he admitted to you he was a male that first night, remember? Then again when you found him after he got lost? He confided to Jagger and the other mates how you treat him sometimes. How you imply you’re angry that he deceived you and make him feel he’s not manly enough. Then you expect him to trust you? To turn over his own mother like it’s nothing? I think you’re asking rather a lot, don’t you?”

Lucas glared at him for a long moment before deflating like a balloon with the air let out. He put a hand to his forehead and leaned into it. “You’re right. How can he possibly love me? I’ve been such an asshole. ”

Nikolai grinned. “You won’t get any argument from me there, but you must have done something right. Jagger says Kai’s crazy about you. ”

“He is?” Lucas raised his head and stared urgently at Nikolai. “Did he say so?”

“Don’t you two talk at all?” Nikolai said, laughing. “Yeah, he said so. ”

“I need to talk to him before this all goes down. While the team is on its way down to the planet, I’ll go talk to him and apologize if he’ll still speak to me. ”

Kyle squeezed his shoulder. “He will. You’re doing the right thing. ”

“I know. I only hope I can make him understand. ”

Nikolai looked down at the timepiece on his wrist. “Well, if you want to talk to him before the team lands, you’d better hurry. They’re loading up in the bay now. They’ll be launching shortly. ”

* * * *

Kai stood somewhere in the middle of the crowd of soldiers, over a hundred of them, filing into the shuttle craft. His heart was racing, and he kept his head down in case someone recognized him. He didn’t think it was likely, though. Lucas had confined him to his quarters from the moment they’d come on board, and many of the soldiers he was standing in line with were the hastily assembled Alliance forces from various planets, including Earth. A fortunate thing, since even though he had the height of the Lycans, he didn’t have their bulk. In this mixed force, however, he blended right in.

He pulled the helmet a little lower over his face anyway and shuffled slowly forward with the others as they took their places on board the ship. He couldn’t help wondering what Lucas would do when he found him missing. He’d be angry, of course, but maybe it would be a relief to him. What Kai was doing was an act of treason he couldn’t very well ignore.

He’d have an excuse now to put Kai aside and be released from his vows. Ryan, Jagger and Ethan had tried to tell him about the mating curse of the family, but Kai hadn’t really believed it. Besides, Lucas didn’t feel about Kai the way their mates felt about them. That much had always been obvious, even though the last few days before he’d finally confessed his suspicions to Lucas had been…but no use to think of that now.

After Lucas left him that morning, it had finally become crystal clear to Kai what he had to do. He had to get down to the planet, find his mother and sister and warn them of the impending invasion. Lucas said they wouldn’t destroy his planet, but he’d heard stories about the Alliance aggression before he’d come to Lycanus 3. If even half of what he’d been told was true, he doubted his planet would survive, but at least he might be able to save his mother. He didn’t—he couldn’t—believe she had known about the children. If he could get to her before the main strike force landed, he might be able to help her escape and find sanctuary at some planet that was not in the Alliance.

Having made his plan, it had been simple enough to carry it through. When the soldier brought his breakfast tray an hour before, Kai had been waiting for him. He’d hidden behind the door and struck him on the head with the slender iron bar from the closet used to hang up clothing. He’d only stunned him, of course, but it gave him time to strip the man of his uniform, take his weapon and tie and gag him with strips he’d torn from the sheets. He’d left him there, locked in and made his way below decks without any challenges. Once he found the crowded locker room where the soldiers were changing into their combat gear, he’d picked up a helmet and a jacket and blended in with the others. If his luck held out, he’d be on the planet’s surface before anyone even knew he was gone.

Taking his seat on board with the others, he fastened the safety belt around him and then waited nervously for take-off.

* * * *

“The transport is ready to launch, sir. ”