No More Tears In The End

“Why do they call him by his whole name all the time?”

“That’s what JR always called him. I don’t know why. I do know I wouldn’t mind havin’ JR’s gambling operation, but I hear Lorraine’s into more than just gambling,” Black said and got up to leave. “If JR’s involved, kill him.”

Chapter 23

After Black left I hit the shower and got ready to go to Zakiya Phillips’s funeral. On the way there Black’s words rolled around in my mind.

Then why would you think I’d let Bobby kill you?

You shoulda came to me.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe I shouldn’t have left the way I did, but I wasn’t about to let Bobby kill me over Camille.

I’ll never forget that night. Bobby with his gun in my mouth, screamin’ he was gonna kill me; Black with his gun to Bobby’s head. He just kept sayin’ “Bobby put the gun down.” I remember lookin’ at his face; his eyes. I could see the pain he was in. My two best friends. Bobby was ready to kill me. And Black, shit! I can’t even imagine where his head was, with a gun to Bobby’s head.

I called Camille when I left there that night to tell her what happened. She didn’t care. Camille told me to come fuck her, and that was all she had to say. I was on my way, but I needed a drink first. Camille was dead when I got there. Two shots to the head. I was sure that Bobby had killed her and I was next. And I knew that if Bobby wanted me dead, Black wouldn’t have been able to stop him.

The truth was I ran out on Black when he needed me most. We had just killed Andre and his partner Ricky Combs. After the job, Jamaica, who at the time was strung-out on heroin, went MIA. And then I disappeared.

I thought this was over when I made peace with Bobby, but I was wrong. Me and Black would have to talk about this again; there’s something I gotta say.

I arrived at the funeral just as Mrs. Phillips got out of the limo. She told me that I looked very handsome in a suit and asked me to escort her in. When we got to the first pew, she insisted that I sit next to her. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.

I didn’t mind.

I couldn’t begin to imagine what she was feeling right now. She had raised Zakiya just like my grandmother raised me. Being with her reminded me of the times I spent with my grandmother. If my being there with her made her feel any better, I was glad to be there for her.

I don’t like funerals. I’ve been to too many. I felt out of place sitting there. I didn’t know Zakiya. I’m just the guy trying to honor an old lady’s request to find who killed her granddaughter. I thought about Freeze and felt myself getting mad. I guess it showed on my face. Mrs. Phillips nudged me. “Stop looking like that,” she whispered.

After the funeral, I drove away thinking about what I was gonna do next to keep my promise.

When I got to Monika’s apartment, she looked surprised to see me. “I’m honored that you’re here,” she said when I mentioned it.

“What are you talkin’ ’bout?”

“How I hear you cappo da dog or some shit now.”

“How’d you hear about it?”

“Jackie told me.”

“You and Jackie ain’t. .” I had to ask.

“No. It ain’t like she ain’t tried me. But I like dick too much.”

“What’d she say about me being boss?” It felt funny sayin’ it.

“I just told you. I’m just glad to see that even though you the man now that you still got time for your old friends. But you’re probably here because you need something.”

“You’re right, I do need something, but that don’t mean I can’t come see an old friend.”

“So what’s it like?”

“I’m gettin’ used to it.”

“I just never thought it was you, you know, all that gangster shit.”

“What makes you say that?”