The Ex Talk

It’s nice. Not you smell nice. An important distinction.

“Thanks,” I say with some hesitation, accepting the compliment on behalf of my Burt’s Bees shampoo.

His leg bounces up and down underneath the table. Dark jeans tod

ay.

“And what’s going on there?” I ask, pointing.

His stage fright confession comes back to me. He said he’d be fine on the radio, without a visible audience. God, he better be right.

“Ah. That’s me trying to hide how nervous I am. How am I doing?”

“Terrible,” I say. “We both are.”

The corner of his mouth twitches. This is something he does often, I’m beginning to realize. Like he doesn’t want me to know he finds something funny, or a real laugh might mess up his stoic facade.

“There’s one thing we’re good at doing together, then,” he says. He takes a drink of water, and my heart speeds up for an entirely different reason.

Focus. I flip through my stack of papers. How did Paloma make it look so effortless? Our choreographed intro, our fictional anecdotes, the sponsor breaks . . . And yet it’s impossible to prepare for everything. If someone calls with a question not in my notes, will I have an answer?

WWAMWMD?

Ruthie comes through our headsets. “Thirty seconds,” she says, a little breathless.

I cross and uncross my legs. Scratch at the mustard stain. Attempt a sip of water and dribble some down my chin.

“Hey,” Dominic says right before the ten-second countdown. Finally, his leg pauses its frenzied jiggling, and he knocks my knee with his. “Shay. It’s just like the two of us having a conversation.”

“Right. Right. We can do that.”

His gaze locks on mine. “And I’m really glad you talked me into this.”

Then Ruthie points to us.

And we’re live.

The Ex Talk, Episode 1: Why We Broke Up

Transcript

“You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well, baby, you’re already in that cage . . .” (Breakfast at Tiffany’s)

“Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of . . .” (Casablanca)

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” (Gone with the Wind)

“If I want to be a senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn . . .” (Legally Blonde)

“We should break up or whatever.” (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World)

DOMINIC YUN: It was a cold December day—

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: Pretty sure it was the beginning of January.

DOMINIC YUN: It was sometime in the winter. You were wearing that blue sweater—

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: Green.