Conventionally Yours (True Colors 1)

“But you do, right?” I wasn’t giving up on this so easily.

“Yeah. I’ll be honest though… I’ve done other stuff a lot more. I like it, but it’s the sort of thing you need to be sure about. It’s…intimate. Hard to explain, but it’s…personal, no matter which side you’re on. Helps to be sure about who you’re with too.”

“I’m sure about you,” I persisted, tugging him back closer. “And if this is my one chance, I really want it to be you.”

“This is not your one chance. There will be plenty of other chances.”

I didn’t want to think about that right then. Other chances might come my way, but there was only one him. “I want it to be you. And if all we have is this night—”

“We do not only have tonight.” He gave me a stern look. “Don’t talk like we’re on the Titanic, man. We have plenty of other nights coming our way. Tomorrow night for one, and the one after that too. There’s no rush. It doesn’t have to be tonight.”

“Well, yeah, we’ve got the trip back to Gracehaven. But…” I swallowed hard, trying to not let emotions overwhelm me and failing miserably. “We should make the most of the time we’ve got, you know? Not waste any.”

“Alden.” He cupped my face again, made me look at him. “When I say we’ve got time, I mean, we’ve got time. I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry I was a jerk earlier. But you’ve got me. Tonight and tomorrow and all the nights after that too.”

It was a sweet thing to say, maybe the sweetest ever. I wasn’t entirely sure I believed him, but I loved him all the more for saying that, for wanting to be here with me.

“You’ve got me too. But I’m serious. I want to try. Here. Now.”

“Can you be more specific about what you want to try?” His eyes were twinkling enough that I could tell any reluctance he had was more about making me talk dirty to him than serious reservations. “How will I know what to do if you won’t say the words?”

“You know.” Scampering off the bed, probably looking rather undignified, I got the supplies I’d purchased earlier. Safety first and all that. I’d failed at every outdoor and survival activity the moms had tried to push me toward, but I did get a healthy appreciation for being prepared. I threw the small paper bag at the bed and missed, which made Conrad laugh all the harder.

“Oh, just come off it and fuck me already, Con.” I retrieved the stuff from the floor and flopped back down next to him. “I want to know what it’s like. I’ve waited years for this, and if you need me to chant—”

“No chanting required.” He was still laughing as he pulled me into his embrace. “I mean, appreciated sure—”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“You’re lucky I love you bossy.” He gave me an affectionate grin right before he claimed my mouth, and I supposed it was almost as good as him saying the actual three words. I was lucky. So lucky. And I wasn’t going to take this moment for granted.

We kissed and touched, and there was a fair bit of laughing—not all his—as we got back to the heated place we’d been before my request had derailed the proceedings. I’d seen porn. I’d read dirty Odyssey fanfic. I wasn’t completely unfamiliar with the mechanics of what we were going to do, but it was Conrad and it was me and it was us, and that made it new and wonderful. And awkward. Plenty of that too. Bumped knees and too-ticklish ribs and not-warm-enough hands, but there was also magic.

So much magic.

“Want you. So much,” he gasped somewhere between kissing my neck and uncovering unexplored nerve endings along my sternum. The desire in his silvery-blue eyes was everything I’d ever wanted, more than I’d dared hope for.

“Need you.” Want wasn’t enough for what I felt. I needed.

And maybe he did too because we were kissing again, mouths hungry and feverish. His hand skimmed up and down my sides, then he shifted, using his fingers to skirt all the parts that were straining for attention, dipping lower. There. Yes, there.

The lube bottle made an embarrassing noise, but I was too turned on to echo his unsteady laughter. Then there was no room for laughter anymore, him kissing me while his talented fingers explored and teased. Magic.

“Now.” It was a good thing he liked bossy because my tone was rather commanding.

“Yeah.” His breath was warm on my cheek as he whispered near my ear. “Tell me how you want it. What’s your favorite fantasy?”

“You.” I wasn’t playing coy—it was him. This moment. It was everything. I wasn’t the type for detailed fantasies to start with, but he’d starred in more than a few of the ones I did have over the years, filthy bits of self-indulgence that always embarrassed me afterward and that I tried to forget. As if I could. And I didn’t have to be embarrassed anymore. He was here, and we were really going to do this. “You. Just like this.”