God of Temptation (Immortal Matchmakers, Inc)

I’m going to miss it. Zac then looked across the room at Tula, her big blue eyes beaming at him with love. But I won’t miss it that much. He grinned. Tula and he were finally together, free to live their lives and enjoy the good with the bad, the fun with the hard times, and all the bends in the road.

“Well, then,” Ixy made a little sniffle, “meeting adjourned.”

EPILOGUE

“Zac, that was the most beautiful wedding ever. I’ve never danced so much in my life!” Tula sighed and flopped down on the king-size waterbed, still wearing her huge white wedding dress. For old times’ sake, and maybe to make her conservative parents happy, the dress was long-sleeved with a high neck and a hem that reached her ankles.

Honestly, it was wonderful meeting Tula’s family, though it had been brief. Unfortunately, his brethren were still getting the hang of their new powers, so the event didn’t go exactly as planned, starting with one of them making it rain in the church’s bathrooms. No one confessed to owning the gift, but when Votan’s wife, Emma, went to the ladies’ room, she noticed a tiny raincloud seeping out from under the door. When she opened it, Emma was engulfed in a tidal wave. She came out into the main chapel, bodysurfing a wave.

Of course, Ixtab jumped in to help, thinking she could quickly dry everything with her new sun power, but instead she caught the curtains on fire. Then some lovely handwoven tapestries depicting holy men of some sort hanging on the wall.

Thank gods that Tula’s family had been too busy trying to help Emma to notice the fireballs shooting from Ixy’s face.

The fire department had to be called in, and yes, they got it all under control before any major damage was done, but they’d had to move the ceremony outside.

Everyone standing. No frills. But Tula hadn’t cared. “Just as long as I get married and it’s you, Zac, nothing else matters.”

Then the lightning started. Blue skies. Lightning everywhere. That was when Zac finally started yelling, “Okay. Whichever one of you asscracks has K’ak’s old powers, quit throwing bolts or leave!”

Of course, Tula’s family had gasped, thinking Zac had said “cock” not K’ak, which sounded exactly the same.

Then Forgetty had finally had it with Chuck during the final moments of the vows and started cussing at the randy little bug. “You dirty little fucker! Stop humping my nose! You got bee jiz on it! Sonofabitch! And you little bastards, stop egging him on. What the fuck?”

From the look on Tula’s mother’s face, you’d think she’d never heard a cuss word. Guess after that wedding, now she’s heard them all.

Honestly, it was a total shitshow, but when Zac looked at Tula and said, “I do,” the expression on her face told him all he needed to know. She couldn’t be happier. I think she might’ve even sparkled a bit.

Anyway, Zac had to work things out with the church before they left to the reception at the Randy Unicorn—the nightclub in downtown LA owned by Belch and Forgetty. By the time he and Tula arrived in their black limo, the party was well underway. Forgetty DJ’d, of course, because that was her thing, and Colel and Belch bartended. Távas catered and brought his evil chicken wings. Hot, but tasty!

It was pretty cool to see everything going smoothly, and just when Zac thought he might get to spend a few moments with Tula’s family, the nuptial dances started.

He couldn’t say no since everyone had been waiting so long, including his new wife. Ahh…my wife. Tula. His heart swelled. He and his wife danced to “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. Seemed appropriate, considering Zac’s contribution to said place.

Anyhow, Tula then danced with her father, Zac danced with her mother, and he had been certain the bumps in the wedding road were behind them.

Until…Akna’s powers showed up. Who had them? Zac wasn’t sure, and again, no one fessed up, but the guests, human and deific alike, started disappearing one by one. To hump, no doubt.

But Tula didn’t seem to care. They danced for hours, gazing into each other’s eyes. They sipped champagne and reminisced over all the twists and turns their romance had taken, from their first meeting, to her falling for him and him becoming sick from the plague and wanting to murder her. Then he rescued her, and she died, turning into a ghost. To get her body back, Zac had to become Minky’s sex pet, though no sex ever happened. Then she got her body returned, but Zac disappeared in a demon revolt. The stories we’ll get to tell our kids!

The two of them laughed, noting how nothing had ever gone right except their love.

“It’s just like our wedding, Zac,” Tula had said, “and I wouldn’t change it for the world.”