God of Temptation (Immortal Matchmakers, Inc)

Maury’s eyes turned from a warm amber to a fiery orange, his clean-shaven jaw pulsing. “I fear nothing.”

“Words, Maury. Words. Because we all see your actions, and yours say you’re a huge cunt in need of a good spanking. Not that I think all vaginas require spanking, but when they earn the title of cunt, it infers that their level of pussitude is notable and remarkably sinister. You, my demonic friend, qualify for such a name and such a spanking. Take the removal of all immortals from Earth. Those individuals did nothing to you. They had families, children, businesses with employees who depended on them, and you zapped them off the face of the planet as if none of that mattered. Total cunt move.” Zac laughed bitterly. “But go on—go ahead. Keep telling yourself you’re not intimidated by anyone. Pussy.”

Maury sighed with boredom and tugged on the ends of his bow tie. “The removal of all immortal life was not part of my strategy. I was only after you gods. The others were collateral damage.”

Zac arched a brow and stared with doubt.

“You do not believe me, which merely proves how little you know about the world you rule. Arrogant gods.” Maury tsked and shook his head. “I had one weapon at my disposal to extinguish your lot of misfits. And, as everyone but you knows, mingling a hellhound with a unicorn is catastrophic for all supernatural life. It is like,” he waved his hand in a circle, searching for the right words, “mixing sulfuric acid with water. Vinegar and baking soda. Covid and fun. There are some things you cannot put together, and to do so is an act against nature. It will revolt.”

“I assume,” Zac said, “when you say hellhound and unicorn, you are referring to Minky and Mittens?” Minky was his sister Cimil’s bloodthirsty invisible unicorn, a monster in her own right. Mittens was a mystery. All Zac knew from the eyewitness reports was that the creature had showed up at the Uchben compound in Sedona, Arizona. The Uchben were the gods’ eyes and ears in the human world. They were soldiers, doctors, IT experts, and professionals of every kind. Most were human and resided all over the world, since there were only fourteen gods and over seven billion people. Hardly practical for the deities to keep watch over such a large flock on their own.

In any case, Mittens had shown up in Sedona at the same time Minky happened to be there. From what Zac had heard from witnesses who were now in the underworld, the two creatures collided, creating an enormous fireball in the sky. Then kablooey!

“You are correct,” said Maury. “Minky and Mittens. My secret unicorn-hellhound weapon. Sort of like an A-bomb, but with stabby parts.”

“Whatever. That doesn’t negate the fact you look like a giant loser to everyone. Why? Because removing all the competition doesn’t make you a winner; it just makes you look like a three-legged pony winning the Kentucky Derby because it was the only entry. Just sayin’.”

“You’re attempting to egg me on and trick me, Zac, but it won’t work. Because I am the king of demons. We invented tricks, and I perfected them.”

Not true. Cimil invented tricks. The demons merely took the credit. “The truth is not a trick. And if you truly do not fear competition, then prove it. Set me free and let the chips fall where they may with Tula. Of course, I have no doubt she will choose me.”

“How are you so certain?”

“Look at what you’re up against.” Zac’s body was everything tempting—long, thick cock, perfectly muscled abs and pecs, strong arms and bulging biceps. His legs were works of art, along with his gluteus maximus. Hell, people have written songs about my ass cheeks. They looked like two perfectly tanned loafs of round bread. Soft, but hard.

As for his face, the chiseled cheekbones and sensual lips turned heads for sure, but his turquoise eyes made the ladies swoon to the floor. And don’t get him started on his shaggy mane of shiny black hair that said: I am one hundred percent rugged man but also enjoy deep conditioning. ’Cause I’m complicated like that.

Maury’s eyes narrowed to tight slits. “I accept your challenge, Zac, but with conditions. I believe that Tula is infatuated with you because she is human, and you are a god. Their kind takes one look at you and can’t see past your over-bloated beauty.”

“So?” Zac was proud of his over-bloated, manly hotness. Have to have some perks as a god.

“So…I say her attraction is superficial. If you had, say, a different body and face, she might not give you a second look.”

Zac’s fists balled. Tula loved him for his heart and soul. She always commented on how…on how…hot he made her? Dammit. Maybe he’s right?