Crazy in Love

We eventually sit down and chat about me, growing up in New York, my family—I leave a lot out—and then share more about my work.

She’s so lovely and kind, relaxed in that California laid-back way I always hear about. I can’t get the woman before to fit what I had heard regarding the nannies. Especially after she spoke so fondly of her kids and raising them.

“Do you want to have children, Tatum?”

The question isn’t out of left field. We’ve been talking about family for an hour now. But it’s not something I’ve ever been asked other than maybe Natalie at some point in our lives. The other issue is how do I handle this, considering I’m pregnant with not only her son’s child but her second grandkid. I won’t lie about this baby.

It’s a pact I made myself the moment the doctor confirmed I was pregnant. I’ve hidden enough of myself over the years. I won’t drag a baby into that web.

This is about new beginnings for me, my child, and Harrison. This is about finding happiness right here in the middle of the chaos.

“I do want children. I’m not sure how many, but I do.”

“Harrison always talked about having kids.”

I laugh, and the release feels good. I’m surprisingly comfortable with her. “He’ll make a great father.”

“He’ll be a better example than the one he had.” She reaches over from her Adirondack chair to tap my arm, a lot like we’re in this together. I like that. “Bill learned in time, but some habits die hard. He’s a very driven man. We once lost everything. That changed him.” She laughs to herself. “He used to have a bear of an ego. He’s a good man but struggles with being in touch with his emotional side sometimes. He’s getting better.”

I’m not sure what to say, so I offer her an ear and listen. She goes on to say, “He still believes in tough love, so that’s what he models.”

She takes sips of her lemonade and then falls silent. She has a way of sharing so much of her emotion in her words. I say, “I’m sorry to hear of your struggles. Do you mind sharing what happened?”

“Not at all. I wear that story like a badge of honor. The market crashed and the housing market flipped on itself. He had a million listings, but there were no buyers. Everyone was too scared to spend the money. We had four kids, and we were about to lose everything, so we went to my parents, who paid our mortgage, our bills, and for the nannies we needed to keep our lives in order. My parents were very proud old money. They wouldn’t allow us to look like there were any struggles. Appearances were everything.” She angles toward me. “We owed my parents so much money, but then I got a listing and sold a house, and then another, and then another. For the first time in my life, I was the breadwinner. I was able to get the clients and find the buyers he couldn’t. It took five years, but I turned everything around for us.”

“I thought he ran the company?”

“He does. I was a real estate mogul at the time, but my top job was being a mom, and I missed it. So we transitioned the business back into his care, and I started to stay home again.” She laughs as if she’s in on an inside joke. “If you listen to Harrison, he had thirty nannies in two years. He also has a vivid imagination. It’s not that he lies about it. It’s that . . .” Her smile wanes. “I think he just missed me. Sweet boy.”

My heart aches for him. And for the first time, I can see that she missed her kids too. She missed time with her kids. Whereas my mom probably missed where she wasn’t rather than time with me. “He still is sweet. How many did he have over those five years?”

“Three. He did his best to scare them off, but they stuck around because they adored him even though he was a little hellion.”

“I can see that.”

When I see her chest rise and fall slowly, her smile remains. “Harrison has said such beautiful things about you, Tatum.”

“He’s always quick to tell me I’m pretty.”

She’s nodding. “That’s sweet, but he never once mentioned your beauty.”

“Oh.”

“He told me how creative you are in your job, and that you’re ambitious, and there’s no stopping you when you set your mind to something.” Kindness fills the lines in her face as she continues, “He talks about your sense of style and that you own a room the moment you walk into it. He knows I love home design, so he spoke of your apartment capturing such warmth that he prefers to stay there over Nick’s.”