The Introvert's Guide to Speed Dating (The Introvert's Guide 2)

“What are you saying?”

“The chance of me leaving is slim, London. Really slim. I don’t know if I will ever truly feel completely at home in America, but maybe it’s just because I’m not ready to accept that home could be somewhere other than England yet.” He turned his head and met my eyes. “I like you, too, London. I really do like you a lot. If where I am right now is not enough for you, I understand. I would never ask you to do something that would hurt you or Leo. All I can do is be honest with you about how I’m feeling right now so you can make that decision for yourself.”

I looked down, fiddling with the hem of my dress.

Ollie reached over and took my hand, winding his fingers through mine. “And you don’t have to do that right now. I know how hard it is for you, and one of the things I respect about you is that you put Leo at the front of everything you do and think about how your decisions will impact him, even if it’s at the expense of yourself.”

“I’m his mom. That’s my job,” I said quietly, my gaze fixed on our hands.

He cupped my face with his other hand and raised it to look at me. “Just… think about it, okay? Promise me you’ll think about it.”

I nodded. “I promise I’ll think about it. You might have to wait a while, though.”

“That’s fine. You’re worth waiting for.”

I glanced down, blushing. Why did he have to be so sweet? Why did he have to be so thoughtful and kind and understanding? Why couldn’t he be a jerk about this?

If he was a jerk, it’d be easier to ignore how much I loved feeling his thumb brushing the back of my hand. How good it felt to be sitting right next to him with his palm against my cheek and his breath fluttering against my hair.

I’d never wanted to throw caution to the wind and disregard all the consequences so much in my life.

I leaned into him and pressed my face into his shoulder. Being a parent was so hard. I wanted to tell Ollie yes, that we could date, that we do everything we wanted to and all the consequences be damned, but it wasn’t that simple.

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah, just thinking it’d be so much easier if you could be a total dick about this.” I sat up with a smile and shrugged. “Damn you.”

His eyes twinkled with laughter. “I’ve never had to apologize for not being an asshole before, but… I’m sorry?”

I nudged him with my shoulder, laughed, then sighed.

“Shall we go?”

I nodded. It was probably the best choice to make.

I mean, I needed to crawl into bed and overthink this until three in the morning, didn’t I?

We got up, and I slid my hand from his so I could quickly check my phone. No messages and Leo should have been asleep by now, so I closed my purse and held it under my arm.

“London.” Ollie grabbed my hand, stopping me, and pulled me against him.

My heart thumped in my chest as my body flattened against his and I looked up at him, swallowing. Goddamn my dry mouth. “What?”

“Can I kiss you?”

I glanced down, smiling. “You remember what you said about it ruining the moment if you asked permission every time you spanked someone?”

“A total joke, for what it’s worth.”

I laughed, then leaned in and pressed my lips to his. I slid my hand up his arm to rest at the side of his neck, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me flush against him.

It was the best kind of kiss. He still tasted like the chocolate ice-cream he’d eaten, and I found myself getting completely and utterly lost in him. Like I could kiss him forever, even if the apocalypse was to rain down upon us.

Slightly dramatic, that option.

But I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to keep kissing him and kissing him and kissing him, knowing that it went against everything we’d just spoken about. It was a compete contradiction to every single thing I’d just said to him, but I was happy to be a hypocrite for a moment.

If I decided to give him up, I wanted to know that I’d at least kissed him properly one last time.

If I did one thing only for me, I wanted it to be kissing Ollie.

So just for a moment, for the first time in a very long time, I allowed myself to be selfish, to do something that was entirely for myself.

And I just let him kiss me.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN – OLIVER

RULE THIRTEEN: THE FIRST RULE OF DATING IS YOU DON’T LET YOUR FRIENDS GET INVOLVED. QUICK, SOMEONE TELL MY FRIENDS.

I wiped the towel over my forehead as I stepped off the treadmill. It’d been a while since I’d worked out in the actual gym instead of just going for a jog outside, but Dylan had wanted to do the same, and since he was my closest friend, I’d agreed to join him.