The Boyfriend Blog

“For years, I was lonely, and then you and Aiden moved in and turned my life upside down. For the first time since Robert died, I had someone to look after me. Someone I could call if I needed a ride, or a laugh or a hug, or anything really, and I’ve never taken either of you for granted—not once since the day I met you because I know how lucky I am. But I’m not getting any younger, and my heart attack proves that.”

“You’re only eighty. You have tons of life left in you.”

“You’re right, I do, and you have even more.” Her weathered hand finds mine. “I don’t want to be a burden on you guys anymore.”

“You’ve never been a burden.”

“You say that, and I truly think you believe it, but it’s how I feel. And now that you have each other, things are going to change.”

“They don’t have to.”

“Yes, they do, because that’s life. Life is about change, that’s what makes it exciting.”

“I’m not sure I agree with you on that. I’m not a big fan of change.”

“I can tell.” Edna chuckles. “We all have two choices in life, my sweet girl. We can either dance through the changes, or we can fight them. And I can tell you now that you’ll live a much happier life if you choose to dance.”

“He wants to move,” I blurt.

“And you want to stay.”

“It’s not that I want to stay,” I say, wiping my face with the sleeve of my shirt. “It’s that I don’t know how to leave. My whole life is here. Everything I love and care about is here.”

“Is that what your hang-up is?”

I take a breath and shake my head. “What if I leave and everything falls apart?”

“How so?”

“What if I go with Aiden, and our relationship fails. If I go, I’m leaving more than you and my family. I’d be leaving my job and my apartment and—”

“What if it doesn’t?”

“What?”

“Failure is part of life, just like change. It happens. You’re worried about your relationship failing, but what if it doesn’t? What if it flourishes? What if you fall even more in love with Aiden than you already are?”

I’m not sure that’s possible.

“What if you get out there, find a great job, and an amazing neighborhood to live in, and never want to come back?”

I roll my eyes. “That’s not going to happen.”

“You’ll never know because you’re too scared to take the chance.”

“Fine, okay, yes, I’m scared. But it’s more than that. He hurt me, Edna. He kept it from me.”

Edna scoffs and looks legitimately pissed off at me. “So, he kept it from you. Get over it and stop using it as an excuse to stay here. Trust me, you two will fight over a lot more important things in life than him waiting three weeks to tell you about a job offer. Forgive him and move on.”

Edna’s words strip away the final barrier, leaving me raw and hopeful.

“This is an easy decision. You have nothing to lose by leaving, and everything to lose if you choose to stay.”

I drop back onto the couch, confused at this sudden turn of events. I woke up this morning convinced that Aiden might leave without me, and now I’m considering going with him. My world tips on its edge when I think about waking up without him every morning and going to bed alone every night. Who will be there waiting with a bottle of wine and my favorite ice cream after a long day? Who will watch sappy Hallmark movies with me and…damnit, I’m an idiot.

I don’t want to be thousands of miles away from Aiden.

I don’t want to be away from him, period.