Crazy Sexy Love (Dirty Dicks 1)
That thought twists my stomach.
My eyes flick from the road to Mo’s truck up ahead.
What will I do if she chooses to go back to school? What if she moves away and we’re right back where we were six years ago, trying to make a long-distance relationship work? Can I handle that?
The answer is quite simply no. I just got Mo back, and I’m not ready to let her go again. I don’t want to live a life between two homes—always passing each other in the wind, hoping for a night together before we have several more apart. With my job, that’s exactly how it could end up.
But my thoughts about my future have been changing.
The logistics of how we could make this work roll around my head for the rest of the drive. Mo passes the exit for her house, instead taking a left toward Animal Haven, but I keep going straight. A couple of minutes, later I’m pulling down my parents’ lane. I put the truck in park and shoot Mo a quick text because I’m sure she’s wondering where I went.
I have to run a few errands. I’ll meet you at Animal Haven in a little while.
Dad is sitting on the front porch when I pull up. I roll the windows down for the dogs, rather than letting them out. We won’t be here long. I just need to get some advice from the person I trust more than anyone.
“Thought I might be seeing you soon. What did the doctors say?”
I shrug and bound up his front steps. “Same ol’ shit, different day.”
His eyes watch me. “Lucifer did some damage, huh?”
“Little bit.”
“When are you heading back?”
Propping my hip against the porch rail, I look at my dad. “You don’t want to try to talk me out of going?”
“Nope.” He tilts his head. “You do want to go back, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” I pause. “I mean, I think so. Hell, I don’t know.”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “What did you really come out here for, son?”
I worry my bottom lip between my teeth and decide to go for it. “How did you know you were ready to retire?”
“I didn’t retire,” he says, waving toward the ranch. “I might not mount the bull, but I trained you and your cousin. I still live the life.”
He’s going to make me spell it out. “How did you know you were ready to give up that part of the life?”
“I was never scared of getting hurt. I was a lot like you; I always heard the doctors’ advice and kept doing my thing because it’s what I loved. And then one day I realized I loved your mom more than I’d ever loved the bull.”
“I love Mo more than I love the bull.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
I look out toward the ranch for a moment. “She scares me more than any bull ever has. Lucifer can break every bone in my body, but those bones will heal. I might not ride again, but I’ll heal. Mo broke my heart, and I’ve never quite been the same. She says she’s all in, swears she won’t leave me again, but how can I be sure? What if I walk away from bull riding to be with her and she changes her mind?”
“Has she asked you to walk away?”
“No, but she was with me at the doctor’s appointment. She heard everything they had to say, and she questioned my return to the PBR. If I’m going to change my life for her, I need to know she’ll support me through all my decisions, even if that means I return to bull riding.”
Dad pushes himself out of the rocking chair. He steps in front of me and lays a hand on my arm. “Then you need to make her show her hand first.”
“What do you mean?”
“Give her the chance to prove herself, and once you have your answer, you’ll be prepared to lay it all on the line or move on with your life.”
Make her show her hand first. I nod. “I think I know how to do that.”