It doesn’t matter that she would’ve gotten the money from interviews, or that I did it thinking I was protecting Grayson and the kids, or that she might not spend it on drugs. What matters is that I was wrong to do it without talking it over with him first. It was a decision we should have made together.
I need to apologize, but I’m not sure how to go about eating crow. It’s not something I have much experience with.
But before that happens, I’m determined to give Grayson the time and space he asked for, even if it kills me.
My phone vibrates beside me, and I cringe when I see Nick’s name. My poor brother has listened to me whine, bitch, and cry so much over the last few days. I would feel sorry for him, except I distinctly remember a six-month period several years ago when he and Jessa broke up, and I did the same for him.
“Hello?”
“You sound exhausted.”
“I am.”
“Have you slept at all?” Nick asks.
“Not a wink.”
“Nora…”
My name lingers in the air. Tears prick my eyes, and I pinch my lips together.
“You should call him.”
Nick’s words shock me. “I thought you wanted to kill him.”
“Yeah, well, that was before I talked to him.”
“You talked to him?” I ask, perking up. “When?”
“A few times over the last few days.”
“And you didn’t bother telling me?”
“He might be more miserable than you,” he says.
“That doesn’t make me feel better, Nick. God, he must hate me.”
“He doesn’t hate you.”
“I’m a mess. I miss him so much, and I hate this. I hate what I did. I hate that I hurt him. I hate that he hurt me. I hate the way things ended. I hate that can’t see him. I—”
“I get it, Nora. Hasn’t he tried calling you?”
“Only a million times.”
“That’s it?” Nick chuckles. “Christ, Nora, answer his damn call. Listen to what he has to say and put both of you out of your misery.”
“But what about everything that happened? What about what he said? What if—”
“Christ, you sound like Jack.”
I’ll take that as a compliment. “Jack’s a great kid.”
“I know he is. Listen…” Nick pauses, blows out a breath, and says, “Do you love him, Nora? Like, really love him?”
“With my whole heart. But he hurt me. I put my heart on the line, told him I love him, and he didn’t believe me.”
“Men are dumb sometimes.”