“Yup. Would you mind getting some plates out?” Tonight we are at Levi’s house, and it was my first time seeing it. I was pleasantly surprised that he didn’t live in some bachelor pad condo, although he told me he used to but recently sold it. He lives in a ranch-style brick home on the outskirts of town and it’s stunningly beautiful. The entire living room is nothing but ceiling to floor windows. What little wall is visible, is painted a bold red, which offsets the light oak hardwood floors perfectly.
And let’s not forget about this kitchen. It’s a chef’s dream, and I practically drooled the second I walked in here. Black granite countertops practically go on for miles and there’s more room to move than I’ve ever had in a kitchen of my own. So, of course, I had to cook here.
“Not at all,” he says against my temple, kissing it softly before moving to get the plates and silverware. I made chicken alfredo, mostly because I know how much Levi loves it, but also because it’s super easy to make and the quicker we eat, the quicker I can tell him. Harley’s words have stuck with me this past week, but every time I opened my mouth to tell him, I froze. Well, not tonight. Nope, tonight, come hell or high water, I am telling him. My palms start to sweat just thinking about it, but I know it has to be done.
I drop the alfredo into a serving dish, then walk it over to the table and take a seat. Levi surprises me when he plops into a chair right next to me rather than across from me, and I give him a curious glance. “What?” He scoops out a helping for himself and then fills my plate as well. “This way I can touch you if I want.”
“Okay.” I smile around my mouthful of pasta, loving when he drops his hand to my thigh. We spend the next half-hour eating and laughing, sharing stories about our day, and throughout the entire time, Levi’s hand stays locked on my leg. It’s possessive and extremely sexy, and every time he moves a finger or swipes his thu
mb, I want to just say screw dinner so I can maul him.
After he’s cleared his plate and I’ve eaten as much as my stomach could tolerate, I stand up and head toward the sink with our dishes. Setting them down gently, I turn on the hot water.
“The dishes can wait.” Levi flicks the water off and turns me in his arms. “I’ve got other things I’d like to do first.”
“Oh yeah?” He kisses my nose and I giggle when his fingers skim up my sides until they rest at the base of my neck, where he gently holds onto me and brings my face to his.
“Yes, and they don’t involve dishes.” His mouth fuses with mine and his hands slide down my shoulders, stopping to play with my bra strap that is peeking out from under my shirt. He slowly starts to tug, moving the strap and shirt out of the way, exposing more of my shoulder. That’s when my brain kicks in.
“Wait, Levi. Please wait.” His fingers stop, but he doesn’t move; he just pulls back enough to look me in the eye.
“Is everything okay?” Well, if that’s not a loaded question, I don’t know what is. I push gently on his chest and he steps back, his head cocked to the side. My eyes dart to the floor and I suck my bottom lip into my mouth as I try to figure out the best way to say this. I’ve practiced these words hundreds of times, but funny how right now they are nowhere to be found. My legs feel restless, so I brush past Levi and walk into the living room. His feet pad behind me on the floor and when I stop, he stops. “Laney, what’s going on?”
Every worst-case scenario starts flashing through my head, especially the one where Levi gets upset that I didn’t tell him sooner and walks out on me. I’m just not sure I’ll survive that.
I take a ragged breath and meet his gaze. He runs a hand along the back of his neck and cocks an eyebrow. “Okay . . .” I rub my hands down my thighs as I move over to the couch. “I think you should sit down for this.”
“I don’t want to sit down.”
“Okay, well, I would like for you to sit down because I’m already nervous and you pacing around me isn’t going to make things better.” He growls in frustration and tosses himself onto the couch.
“Just tell me what’s going on, Laney.” He props his elbows on his knees, his hands fisted between his legs. His eyes are watching me intently, and he’s no doubt trying to figure out exactly what I’m about to say. I’d bet anything that every last guess he has is so far off the mark it isn’t even funny.
“I, uh . . . wow.” I rub my hands down the front of my face. “This isn’t easy. I didn’t think it would be, but it’s even harder than I thought. So—”
“You know what? Forget it. I can’t believe I let myself do this again.” Levi pushes up from the couch and paces around the coffee table.
“What?” I stammer, not sure what he’s talking about.
“This. Us.” He waves a hand between us and then rubs his hands down the front of his pants. “I knew this would happen. I knew you’d find a way to fuck it up again, but I convinced myself that you were different . . . that you wouldn’t hurt me again.”
“Levi, no—” I shake my head firmly, tears burning the back of my eyes. How could he think that?
“Then what is it, Laney?” he yells, his hands out to his sides. “What do you have to tell me, and why is it so damn hard for you spit the words out?”
“I have cancer!” I blurt, plastering a shaky hand across my mouth as soon as the words are out. Adrenaline is pumping through my veins and my entire body is trembling. Tears start slipping from my eyes, but I can’t move. My body is completely numb as I wait for him to say something.
Levi’s mouth falls open and a cold knot forms in my stomach. “What?” he gasps. “What did you say?” He isn’t moving either. He’s just standing there staring at me like I just told him pigs fly.
Very slowly, I let my hand fall. “I have breast cancer,” I whisper, my voice cracking on that hideous word.
“Laney.” My name falls from his mouth in a desperate plea, and in three strides he’s standing in front of me, gathering me in his arms. A strangled cry rips from my throat and I wrap my arms around him. My fingers curl inward, gripping the back of his shirt tightly in my fists. My body heaves on a deep sob as I finally let myself grieve in front of someone else. My tears are blinding, falling from my eyes in waves, but I don’t make a move to wipe them. I need to let them fall. I need to rid them from my body.
Levi nuzzles his face in the side of my neck and whispers sweet words to try and comfort me.
It’s going to be okay.
We’ll get through this together.