Live Without Regret (A Touch of Fate 3)

eyes peeking up at me under thick, dark lashes made my heart flip over in my chest. The dimples in her cheeks, winking at me every time she laughed, caused me to lose my breath. But what affected me the most was feeling her body shudder under the touch of my hand. That feeling made me want to stand on a mountain and pound my chest, claiming her as mine.

So right now I’m doing the only thing I can do. I’m holding on to those moments while I give her time. Unfortunately for her, the more time I spend thinking, the more pissed off I get.

What Tyson did was shitty, but I’m not Tyson.

Clenching my jaw, I stand up. What the hell am I supposed to do? How do I handle this? A part of me thinks I need to sit back and just give her time to miss me; that she’ll realize what a terrible mistake she made. The other part of me wants to tear into her for screwing with my feelings the way she has. I let her into my life, I bent my rules, and this is the shit she pulls?

Fuck.

She’s got me so fucking tied up in knots it isn’t even funny. It’s infuriating, actually.

My frustration is at an all-time high. I pace the living room several times before deciding that giving her space is the wrong choice. I’m not sure giving her a piece of my mind is the right way to go, but it’s what I’m going to do, and damn it, she’s going to listen.

Leaving the house, I stomp toward Brittany’s side of the duplex. Before I make it to her porch, the front door flies open, revealing what appears to be a deliriously happy Brittany and a smiling Logan.

What. The. Hell.

Brittany’s gaze lands on me. Her smile falters just a fraction, the happiness seemingly replaced with uncertainty. There’s no room for uncertainty now, sweetheart. You said your piece, and now it’s time I said mine.

She takes a step toward me. Straightening my back, I square my shoulders and stalk toward her. Something in my approach must confuse her because she stops and flicks her eyes to Logan before bringing them back to me.

“Goodbye, Logan,” I say without sparing her a glance. Logan snickers, but out of the corner of my eye I see her scurry toward her car. I walk straight over to Brittany, not stopping until we’re toe to toe. The air around us crackles. It’s something I’d gotten used to, something I’m going to miss if I can’t get her to see she’s making a huge fucking mistake. Something I’m afraid I’ll never feel again with anyone else.

Chin held high, I glare at Brittany. Gorgeous blue eyes are watching me carefully, sparkling with what looks a whole hell of a lot like hope. Her hair is pulled up in a bun on top of her head, loose strands floating around her face, and her shirt is a rumpled mess. She looks so different like this; not at all like the put-together doctor she is. I like this side of her. I like every side of her.

I’ve never wanted so badly to both kiss a woman and physically shake her as I do in this moment.

“I’m so fucking pissed at you right now,” I say, grinding the words out. Brittany scrunches her nose at the tone of my voice. She’s so damn adorable when she does that. My body deflates, my frustration waning.

Oh hell no, Connor, I think to myself, you will not get distracted. You came here because you have something to say, and—damn it—you’re going to say it.

“We need to talk, and by that I mean I’m going to do the talking and you’re going to listen.”

Brittany’s brows are now nearly touching her hairline. She plants a fist on her hip. “Well, I have a few things to say, too,” she says with just as much bite.

“You’ve already talked and now it’s my turn.” My eyes lock on her plump lower lip as she sucks it into her mouth. Even though it’s only been a few days, I already recognize this as a nervous habit.

Pulling my eyes to hers, I swear I see a hint of amusement flash across her face. “Cut the bullshit,” I snap, watching her face fall. “This isn’t funny. You’re blaming me for the mistakes of that prick who broke your heart.” Nothing like throwing it all out there, and there’s no stopping now. “I’m nothing like him. I would never hurt you because I care about you, and hurting you would hurt me. But you don’t feel the same way, do you?” I ask, not really looking for an answer.

“That’s not—”

“Because if you felt the same way,” I say, interrupting her, “then you wouldn’t have walked away so easily. Did you even try giving us a chance, or were you so scared of getting hurt again that you looked for an out any place you could find it?” She opens her mouth, but I’m not done. “And I handed it to you on a silver fucking platter, didn’t I? I gave you the one reason to bail that everyone would understand.”

“Connor—”

“This is pointless,” I say, gripping the back of my neck. “You’ve already put me in the same category as him. There’s no sense trying to defend myself. But you know what? I shouldn’t have to defend myself, because I deserve better than that. I’m a good guy who would give every single part of myself, and I deserve that in return.” Brittany’s eyes glisten under the dull light of the falling sun. Her tears rip through my heart, the sharp pain radiating to my soul. I can tell my words hit their mark.

I hurt her.

I just said I would never hurt her, yet I did it anyway.

I’m no better than she is. Maybe we’re better off not together after all.

Taking a deep breath, I find my resolve. “I can’t do this.” I glance at my house. Maybe it’s time to make my exit.

“Are you done spewing all of that bullshit?”

My head snaps back, her words a slap in the face. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”