A Lover's Lament
“No, I won’t,” I say flatly.
She shrugs and then falls into another fit of laughter. “Fine. I will.”
“I hate you.”
“Don’t hate me. I’m not the one that coaxed you into getting naked in front of a computer screen.”
Yeah, I left out the part that I was the one doing the coaxing. She may be my BFF, but there are definitely things that are better left unsaid.
“Can we please talk about something else? This is starting to make me pissy.” Plus, I’ve got something much bigger on my mind, and if I don’t tell somebody, I’ll probably burst.
“Fine,” she says, taking a bite of the cinnamon roll sitting in front of her. “What do you want to talk about?”
“I think I’m pregnant.” I have absolutely no control over my mouth today and the words fall out before I give them permission.
For the second time in less than five minutes, I watch Maggie spew something all over my kitchen table—only this time it isn’t soda, it’s her cinnamon roll. “WHAT? What do you mean you think you’re pregnant?”
“I mean, I haven’t had my period and I never miss my period … ever.”
“But you’re on birth control, right?”
“Yes! That’s what I don’t understand. My periods have been regular since starting it years ago, so there’s no other explanation.”
Maggie’s mouth opens and then shuts as she absorbs what I’m saying. “Okay, there could easily be another explanation.”
“And what exactly would that be?”
“I don’t know! I’m still thinking …” She rubs a hand over her head and looks down for several beats before looking up again. “Do your boobs hurt? Do you feel sick? Did you take a test? You should take a test.” Her questions come out too fast, and I have to think about my answers for a second before responding.
“Yes. No. Kind of.”
Maggie’s brows furrow as she presumably lines up my answers to her questions. “What do you mean kind of? You either took a test or you didn’t. It’s a yes or no answer.”
“I didn’t pee on a stick, if that’s what you’re asking. But I called Dr. Bray’s office and they told me to stop the birth control and come in for a blood test, which I did first thing this morning.”
“Annnnd …” Maggie is watching me, eyes wide, waiting for an answer that’s going to disappoint her.
“They’re supposed to call me this afternoon.” As if right on cue, my phone rings, and Maggie and I both stare at it.
“Answer it,” she says, shoving it in my direction.
“What if I’m pregnant?”
“You won’t know if you don’t answer the damn phone.” Maggie snags my cell from the table and flips it open. “Hello … yes, she’s right here.”
She hands me the phone and I slowly bring it to my ear. My heart is hammering inside my chest, and blood is rushing past my ears so fast that I’m a little worried I won’t even hear her … in fact, I might very well pass out.
“Hello?” My voice cracks and I swallow hard.
“Hi, Katie, it’s Stephanie from Dr. Bray’s office. Is this a good time?”
Well, that depends on what you have to tell me. “Yes. Did you get my results back?” That was fast, I think to myself. I suck in a breath, waiting for her answer, and when I hear the words “Congratulations, you’re pregnant” float through the line, I nearly drop the phone.
“I—I don’t understand,” I stammer. “How did this happen?” I shake my head, realizing how stupid that sounds. “Of course I know how it happened, but I was on birth control … and I know it isn’t always effective but … wow … okay … I’m pregnant.”
“It’s a lot to take in, and yes, these things happen. But Dr. Bray said to call her if you have any questions at all.”
Okay… I nod to myself. I can do this … we can do this. “Wait!” I blurt. “I know this sounds stupid, and I’m a nurse and should probably know, but up until yesterday, I’d been taking the birth control. Will that affect the baby?”