Of Love & Regret (Madison & Logan 1)

I didn’t comment when Emily asked to use the bathroom and Kristina showed her to one right off the living room. Apparently, there was more than one bathroom in Logan’s apartment, and he had purposely taken me to the one that required going through the bedroom the night of his party. But it didn’t matter anymore, and I let it go.

By the time the fireworks began over Navy Pier which we were able to see from Logan’s balcony, I was starting to believe that this could actually work. I could be friends with Logan, and I could come to terms with him being with someone else. After all, what was the worst that could happen?

Chapter Nineteen

After spending the Fourth of July at Logan’s apartment, we came to a tenuous understanding about our relationship. We had a fragile friendship, and I knew that we would never be as close as we used to be, but that was probably for the best. We occasionally texted each other, but even those exchanges were somewhat forced, and I found myself weighing my words carefully before sending him anything.

It was about a week after his barbecue when he texted me to see if I wanted to go to the Half Pitcher the next night, which was a Friday. I hesitated before writing back, but I already knew what my answer would be.

That sounds good. I’ll see if Emily is free.

I only had to wait a few seconds for his reply.

I don’t know if Kristina is going to be able to make it since she’s been working pretty late hours at her new job. It can just be the two of us.

We were heading into dangerous territory, and as tempting as it was to have Logan’s sole attention, I knew it wasn’t a good idea.

I think it’s better if Emily comes along.

Logan didn’t respond back, and I tried to not read too much into his lack of a reply. Unfortunately, when I called Emily she told me she wouldn’t be able to go.

“Why not?” I asked plaintively, aware that I sounded like a whiney little kid not getting their way. “I really, really, really want you to come.”

“Madison,” she said patiently. “I can’t always be the buffer between you and Logan. You know what I think about you and him being just friends. I don’t think it’s possible. But if you’re going to have even a chance at making it work, you two need to be able to be alone without anything happening. Besides, even if I wanted to come, I can’t. Sylvia sprung a last minute work trip to New York on me, and we’re leaving tomorrow morning. I won’t be back until Tuesday night.”

I sighed, knowing that Emily was right, but I was still afraid of being alone with Logan. “Sorry, you must be sick and tired of the drama between me and Logan.”

Emily’s voice softened. “Don’t be sorry. I know how hard this is for you, and I want to be there for you. I just can’t tomorrow.”

“I know. And I appreciate how much you’ve been there for me already. I hope you’re able to squeeze in some fun while you’re in New York.”

“I doubt it,” she said, sounding disgruntled. “I’ll be lucky if I get to sleep at night.”

After I got off the phone with Emily, I debated what to text Logan. Even though I knew Logan and I had to face being alone at some point, our newly reformed friendship was still in its infancy, and I didn’t know if I was ready yet. But instead of texting him that I wasn’t able to make it on Friday, I found myself asking him what time I should meet him.

When I stepped inside the Half Pitcher the next night, the last thing I expected was to see him sitting at a table with Kristina next to him. I should have been relieved that we wouldn’t be alone, but instead I felt a swift pierce of disappointment. I tried to mask it with a smile as I approached the table.

“Hey, guys,” I said casually. I only glanced briefly at Logan as he got up and pulled out a chair for me before focusing my attention on Kristina. “I hope you weren’t waiting for me for too long.”

“We just got here a few minutes ago,” Kristina chirped happily. “I didn’t think I’d be able to make it because work has been crazy, but luckily, I was able to get out early today.”

“That’s great,” I said, trying to muster up some enthusiasm. “Unfortunately, Emily is out of town for work, so she won’t be coming tonight.”

Logan poured me a beer from the pitcher they had already ordered, and I gratefully took a large gulp of it. I was going to need some liquid courage to face a night alone with the loving couple.

“That’s too bad,” Kristina said. “I guess that just means more nachos for the rest of us!”

“Kristina has been excited to try the nachos ever since I told her how massive they

are,” Logan explained.

“What can I say?” Kristina said with an impish grin. “I’m a lover of all things cheese.”

“You and me both,” I said, trying not to be put off by how friendly she was. The fact that I disliked her for being so likable made me feel like a horrible person. “Just wait until you see the size of them. It’s probably enough to feed five people with some left over.”

Logan waved the waitress over to order the nachos and another pitcher of beer. I tensed when Kristina excused herself to go to the bathroom.

“I didn’t think she would be able to make it tonight,” Logan said, almost apologetically when she had disappeared into the crowd.