Hunting Shadows (Shadows 3)

I flushed for some reason. Ryan’s words felt more personal than they should. My next words tumbled out without any thought. “What about other seers? You can be honest with them. Why don’t you date them?”

Ryan’s mouth quirked. “Believe me, I’ve tried. I thought it would be easier if I partnered with a seer. I had this idealistic notion that we’d spend our days fighting vardogers together, and our nights… well, we’d spend it otherwise occupied. But I’ve never been able to find a seer strong enough to keep up with me. So I always just end up leaving them behind.”

I nodded, not knowing what to say or how our conversation had gotten so personal so quickly. I stared at Grant, not wanting to look in Ryan’s direction. I told myself that nothing he said had anything to do with me, but I couldn’t help remembering his comment yesterday about how strong I was. I quickly banished the thought. I was confusing empathy towards a fellow seer with attraction.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” I asked, still not turning to look at him.

“What about you and Simon? Do you really think that’s going to turn out well?”

I finally turned to look at him, my indignation at his words blotting out any foolish thoughts of attraction I had been entertaining. “Simon and I are none of your business.”

“I disagree,” he said, but there was no rancor in his voice. “I need you, Caitlin. I need your strength and your power to defeat not only your father, but his followers who are determined to destroy as many human souls as possible. At best, you can’t do that when you’re distracted by Simon. At worst, Simon could betray you and lead you directly to your father. You’re getting confused by your feelings for him, but Simon is a vardoger. Nothing will ever change that.”

Indignation turned to anger, and I struggled to keep my voice low. “You know nothing about Simon,” I bit out. “You know nothing about his humanity or what he’s capable of. I’m not getting into an argument about how trustworthy Simon is, because it’s none of your business. I trust Simon completely and that’s all that matters.”

Ryan’s voice was calm in contrast to my frazzled tone, and it made me even angrier. “You’re wrong. It is my business, because you’re my business. I told your aunt I would keep you safe, and I intend to keep that promise.”

I froze at his words. “You knew my aunt?” My hands clenched into fists, my voice turning cold. “She’s dead. How in the hell could you tell her you’d keep me safe?”

“I’ve only met her in a dream.” Ryan watched me closely as he continued to speak. “I get the feeling you know that death is only a boundary, and not a closed door. Your aunt asked me to watch over you. She was the one who urged me to contact Marie.”

I felt myself starting to tremble, and I forced my racing mind to calm. “What else did she say?”

“That was all,” Ryan said gently. “She told me you were in danger and asked me to watch out for you; to keep you safe. I promised I would and that was the end of the dream.”

I wondered if I was a fool for believing him so easily, but his words rang with sincerity. My dreams of my mother had shown me that people who had passed could still reach out to you.

I didn’t speak for a while as I collected my thoughts. Even though I believed Ryan about his dream, that didn’t mean I believed he

was right about Simon. But I needed both of them. I needed Simon because I loved him and I needed Ryan because he could help me defeat my father. I needed for them to work together, and the only way that was going to happen was for me to convince Ryan to give Simon a chance.

“You don’t understand everything Simon has done for me,” I started out slowly. “He gave up everything to save me. He helped me escape from my father. If it wasn’t for him, I probably wouldn’t be alive right now.”

I didn’t like the look Ryan was giving me. It seemed to be a mixture of sympathy and pity. “He saved you from a situation he created. Did he tell you that he’s the one that started the movement for vardogers to work together? Before him, vardogers were separate from each other, not having the wherewithal to band together. Your boyfriend changed all that.”

Ryan said the word boyfriend as if it disgusted him. I felt my hackles start to rise again. “He’s told me everything. He’s been nothing but honest with me since he told me the truth about who he was.”

Ryan laughed humorlessly. “And what about all the time before that?”

“He was trying to protect me!”

Ryan took a deep breath before continuing. “I can’t change your mind. You’ll have to realize it on your own. But sooner or later you’ll understand that you can never trust a vardoger. I’m just going to have to make sure you don’t get yourself killed before that happens.”

“What about all the seers that are betraying their own kind?” I asked. “If seers can change sides, why can’t vardogers?”

His jaw tightened and his voice turned hard. “Because vardogers aren’t human. They’re monsters intent on killing.” His eyes glittered unnaturally. “But I’m not going to let Simon hurt you. You’re too important to the cause. I’ll destroy him before that happens.”

His intensity took me by surprise and I remained silent, not knowing how to respond. I concentrated on watching Grant, trying to ignore the confusing mixture of emotions roiling inside me.

I felt Ryan relaxing almost imperceptibly beside me, and when he spoke again his tone was even-keeled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get upset. The best I can do is try. I’ll try to work with Simon, but I’ll always be waiting for him to turn. And when he does, I’ll be ready.”

It was all I could really ask for so I just nodded. “Please, just try.”

We spent the rest of the time in silence, and I was relieved when Grant’s group meeting was finally over and he walked over to us.

“Well, I’m done for the day,” Grant said cheerfully, oblivious to the tension between me and Ryan. “We can head back.”