Kennedy's Redemption (The Protectors 3)

“Are you sure, Sunshine?” Creed whispered against the back of her neck as he trailed the soft feather along the insides of her arms.

As he hit a particularly sensitive spot on her elbow, her hips pushed harder into Linc’s and she gasped in shock upon feeling his hard and very large appendage. “Yes,” she whispered on a soft breath when Linc’s hands tightened on her hips.

“I want your lips, Sunshine,” Creed demanded as he rained small kisses along the side of her neck until she turned her head to meet him. As soon as their mouths collided she was lost in sensation. Lost in the sensuality of his expertise at giving her exactly what she needed. Knowing she needed to go slow but taking her just a little bit past that.

He explored her mouth with his tongue, taking everything he could reach. So lost in his kiss and touch as she was, she didn’t notice when Linc removed his shirt until he started to untie the straps on hers. Shivering from the light breeze against her bare flesh, she pulled back from Creed’s demanding mouth.

She could feel all cylinders in her brain backfiring as she got her first look at Linc’s bare chest. It was a work of art. He had thick tribal markings weaving around his arms to his shoulders and pecs and then wrapping around to his back. It was like they were hugging his body, holding him in ways she only ever dreamed of.

Needing to see how they looked on his back, she pulled his shoulders forward to get a look when she felt the feather slide lightly up her spine. It caused a full body shiver and her back to arch so that Linc’s face was now planted firmly between her breasts.

Frozen in shock and a slight amount of fear, she didn’t move. “I think I like this,” Linc whispered into her chest. Nibbling on the side of her breast, she squealed as the new sensation hit her.

“Did they hurt, Linc?” she asked as an idea formed in her mind about getting her own to cover some of the more prominent scars on her body. She could practically picture a vine of lilies along her body, wrapping and weaving, making her scars beautiful again.

“Not really,” he told her as he laid gentle kisses all around her nipple.

Lost in pleasure, she quickly forgot the tattoos and closed her eyes, moaning in the pleasure quickly consuming her mind and body. She’d never felt anything like it. It was overwhelming. The intensity of it overrode any fears she might have had.

The light touches, the gentle kisses… they took her to a plane of pleasure she had only ever read about. The way they worshipped her body left her breathless.

Feeling Creed’s lips gently descend in a straight line down her spine had her panting and wanting more. The way she felt was something she wished she could hold onto for the rest of her life, and she figured if she let them have their way they’d leave her breathless and in a haze of pleasure every day.

“Creed?” She half moaned, half questioned as he got to the base of her spine and started pulling her leggings down. She could feel all of her fears fighting to break free. The pain was trying to consume her.

“Won’t ever do something you don’t want, Sunshine,” he told her, alleviating some of her fears but not all of them. “Just taking off your pants.” Nodding her head, she closed her eyes trying to get the pleasurable feelings back instead of the near mind-numbing fear that was threatening to consume her.

“Talk to us, Sunshine. You’re tense. We can and will stop whenever you like,” Linc whispered against her neck as Creed started to rub along her sides.

Abject fear was a brutal mood killer. Her disappointment was crushing; she could only imagine how they were feeling. She thought she was ready to be intimate with them. She trusted them with her body, her scars, in ways she’d never trusted anyone before. And she’d been with them all the way until Creed had gone near her butt. Then the tremors came back, the pain, the brutality of it all. It was right there in the forefront of her mind.

Now, to help them understand, even though she was fairly certain they understood her far more than she did herself. “I don’t… I mean… I was…” She didn’t know how to continue, to share her experience without saying the words that burned in her gut like a raging fire.

“Talk to us Ken, say the words,” Creed pushed.

She looked at his handsome face, strong jaw, soft lips, and compassionate eyes. Oh, how she wanted to tell them all of her fears. How the thought of taking them both in her body was terrifying for more reasons than they might think. How she feared she was broken beyond repair. And her biggest fear— that once they realized just how broken she was, they’d leave and find her unworthy of their time or energy.

“I wish I weren’t so broken for you,” she whispered, closing her eyes at the confession. “I wish I could give you everything you want in a woman, but I’m afraid I’m lacking. The thought of taking you both terrifies me,” she confessed.

“Oh darlin’, we would never ask you to take us both until you were ready,” Linc told her with a soft smile.

She believed them, she really did, but they didn’t understand. No one did. It was horrifying to have to explain why she was scared. She’d never said the words of what was done to her out loud. The doctors only knew because she’d been unconscious when they’d initially examined her. But telling someone, forcing the words out, was a whole other ball game she wasn’t sure she was ready for.

“I don’t doubt you, either of you,” she tried to find the words for them so they could comprehend her fears. “It’s just that… Arrr, why is this so hard?” Her panic was rising so fast; she could almost taste it.

Getting off Linc’s lap, she grabbed the afghan from the back of the couch and wrapped it around herself like a cocoon. She needed them to know exactly how she was raped. That it wasn’t in the way they probably assumed; the way anyone assumed.

Walking to the window, she watched the birds flying and swooping down into the sea for their next meal, knowing just how the fish felt as they were drug from the only safety they’d known. Left floundering out of the water about to be consumed.

Closing her eyes, she pressed her forehead to the window and tried to voice her trauma. “You know the extent of my injuries, right? When you found me? I mean someone told you what had happened, right?”

Not looking to see if they were listening she continued on, needing to get it all out at once or she’d chicken out and her secret would never be revealed. “I wasn’t raped. Not in the way everyone seems to think.”

“But the doctors said…” Creed had tried to express before she interrupted. “I was, Creed, but not in the conventional way. It was so much worse than what everyone believes. God, the way he forced that… that… I don’t even know what it was,” she laughed humorlessly. “I just know that it hurt like hell. But he was so much crueler than you could ever imagine.”

“Kennedy…” Linc’s voice was filled with pain for her.

Looking at them, she was bowled over at the emotion displayed on their faces. It wasn’t pity like she feared, but empathy. As if they actually understood her pain. Seeing it gave her the strength to continue on. “When people think rape, their minds automatically go to forced sex, right? All neat and tied up in a bow. They don’t think of other ways a woman can be violated so viciously. They seem to forget there are other ways to be raped, other parts of the body.” She had to stop and catch her breath. The tears were flowing heavily down her cheeks, her head was pounding, and she was fighting to continue. “I fought so hard, you have to know that. But I was trapped and he was so much stronger, and her laughter was ringing through the room like it was some big joke. Like I was some big joke.”