The Cider House Rules

"If Blinky was still alive, Senior," Bert Sanborn said, "he'd be older than we are."

"Older than we are," Senior said.

"Let's go home, Pop," Wally said.

"Home Pop," Senior said, but he let Homer and Wally lead him to the van.

"I tell you Wally, it's not booze," said Warren Titus, who opened the side door of the van for them. "It's not on his breath, not this time."

"It's something else, Wally," Bert Sanborn said.

"Who are you?" Senior asked Homer.

"I'm Homer Wells, Mister Worthington," Homer said.

"Mister Worthington," Senior said.

When they'd driven for almost five minutes, in silence, Senior shouted, "Everyone just shut up!"

When they got to Ocean View, Olive met the van in the driveway; she ignored Senior and spoke to Wally. "I don't know what he's had this morning, unless it's vodka; it wasn't on his breath when he left. I wouldn't have let him take the van if I thought he'd been drinking."

"I think it's something else, Mom," Wally said. With Homer's help, he led Senior to the bedroom, got his shoes off, and coaxed him to lie down on the bed.

"You know, I drilled Milly once," Senior told his son.

"Sure you did, Pop," said Wally.

"I drilled Milly! I drilled Milly!" Senior said.

Wally tried to humor Senior with a limerick; Senior had taught Wally a lot of limericks, but Senior had difficulty remembering a limerick now, even if Wally talked him through it, line by line.

"Remember the Duchess of Kent, Pop?" Wally asked his father.

"Sure," Senior said, but he didn't say anything more.

"Oh, pity the Duchess of Kent!" Wally began, but Senior just listened. "Her cunt is so dreadfully bent," Wally said.

"Bent?" Senior said.

Wally tried again, two lines at a time.

Oh, pity the Duchess of Kent!

Her cunt is so dreadfully bent . . .

"Dreadfully bent!" Senior sang out.

Oh, pity the Duchess of Kent!

Her cunt is so dreadfully bent,

The poor wench doth stammer,

"I need a sledgehammer

To pound a man into my vent."

My God! thought Homer Wells. But Senior appeared to be baffled; he said nothing. Wally and Homer left him when they thought he'd fallen asleep.