Trying to Save Piggy Sneed

It was 2:00 A.M. when the phone rang, and he suspected it was not the hospital.

"Yes?" he said.

"Did I wake you up, Doc?" said Harlan Booth. "I sure hope I woke you up."

"Hello, Booth," Ronkers said. Kit

sat up beside him, looking strong and fit.

"Call off your goons, Doc. I don't have to put up with this. This is harassment. You're supposed to be ethical, you crummy doctors."

"You mean you've seen the signs?" Ronkers asked.

"Signs?" Booth asked." What signs? What are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?" Ronkers said, genuinely puzzled.

"You know goddamn well what I'm talking about!" Harlan Booth yelled. "Every half-hour a broad calls me up. It's two o'clock in the morning, Doc, and every half-hour a broad calls me up. A different broad, every half-hour, you know perfectly well

"What do they say to you?" Ronkers asked.

"Cut it out!" Booth yelled. "You know damn well what they say to me, Doc. They say stuff like 'How's your clap coming along, Mr. Booth?' and 'Where are you spreading your clap around, Harlan old baby?' You know what they say to me, Doc!"

"Cheer up, Booth," Ronkers said. "Get out for a breath of air. Take a drive -- down by Catherine Cascomb Dormitory for Women, for example. There's a lovely banner unfurled in your honor; you really ought to see it."

"A banner?" Booth said.

"Go get a drink at the Whale Room, Booth," Ronkers told him. "It will settle you down."

"Look, Doc!" Booth screamed. "You call them off!"

"I didn't call them on, Booth."

"It's that little bitch Maggie Brant, isn't it, Doc?"

"I doubt she's operating alone, Booth."

"Look," Booth said. "I can take you to court for this. Invasion of privacy. I can go to the papers. I'll go to the university -- expose Student Health. You've got no right to be this unethical."

"Why not just call Margaret Brant?" Ronkers suggested.

"Call her?"

"And apologize," Ronkers said. "Tell her you're sorry."

"Sorry?!" Booth shouted.

"And then come give me some names," Ronkers said.

"I'm going to every newspaper in the state, Doc." "I'd love to see you do that, Booth. They would crucify you. "Doc ..."

"Give yourself a real lift, Booth. Take a drive by Catherine Cascomb Dormitory for Women. ..."

"Go to hell, Doc."

"Better hurry, Booth. Tomorrow they may start the bumper sticker campaign." "Bumper stickers?"

"'Harlan Booth has the clap,'" Ronkers said. "That's what the bumper stickers are going to say.