Kissing the Cowboy (Circle B Ranch 5)

“Then answer this…” His deep voice echoes, demanding my attention. “Do you feel anything for me? Did our night together mean anything to you? When we kissed, did you feel the spark ignite the way I did?”

I gulp. I hadn’t expected these questions, and I’m not sure how to answer them. If I tell the truth, it could change everything. Am I ready for that?

“Harper.”

“I don’t know,” I reply.

His face drops as if I punched him in the gut.

The part of me that tells me to come to my senses is frozen in place.

When I look up and meet his eyes, Ethan closes the space between us and cups my cheeks. Slowly, he brings his mouth down and brushes his lips against mine. I inhale sharply as a thousand butterflies invade my stomach, and my heart swells at the memory of what it was like having all of him.

How can I deny this man, my best friend, who would do anything for me?

How do I take the biggest risk of my life?

Too soon, Ethan pulls away. “That’s the last time I’m going to kiss you.”

Wait, what?

“Uh…” I stutter out, my thoughts blank.

“When you figure out the answers to my questions, you know where to find me. If you decide you do feel something, then you can show me. Until then, I’m staying away.”

“Ethan…” I plead when he steps back. “This is the exact thing I wanted to avoid. You’re supposed to be my best friend. If we make things complicated between us, we could lose that.”

“You have a decision to make then.”

“Fine,” I blurt out in a panic. “I choose my friend.”

He pinches his lips together as he holds my gaze. “Okay then.”

His tone is anything but light. In fact, it’s filled with anger and resentment, and before I can say another word, he’s crossing the room toward the door.

“Ethan, wait,” I beg, chasing after him.

He stops but doesn’t turn around. I’ve never seen him this upset in my life. Sure, he’s gotten mad before, and we’ve had stupid, silly fights but never to this extent.

“I can’t lose you,” I whisper, tears surfacing, but I push them back. “Why can’t we go back to the way things were?”

He stands straighter, then bows his head. “Maybe because I’ve spent the last decade waiting for you. Though I tried to convince myself I was okay with being friends, it was all bullshit. Especially now when I know what it’s like to be with you, to kiss you, to feel you around me. I can’t just forget that and pretend it meant nothing.”

I swallow hard at his confession as tears bubble over and slide down my cheeks. The words I want to say are on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t make myself speak. Even though he’s mad at me, we can get through this. We can find our way back to how things were.

“I’m sorry,” I croak out just above a whisper.

I’m not sure he hears me until he grinds out, “Me too.” Then he whips open the door and leaves.

I watch as he stalks to his truck, not giving me a second glance as he hops in and speeds off.

Once his taillights are no longer in view, I shut the door and make my way back to the couch. The tears don’t stop, and I feel worse than I did before.

After our night together, I haven’t been able to get him out of my head, but I’ve been back and forth on what it meant to me. Our lifelong friendship should be more solid than falling between the sheets.

The only person who knows Ethan and I slept together is Hadleigh. Since she knew what was going on, I felt comfortable confiding in her after I processed what happened. Of course she rubbed it in my face about how she knew it would happen. I had to tell her about what Shayla put in the newspaper, but she was well aware since it’s already spread around town.

After texting with Hadleigh the following day, she invited herself over after work to talk some sense into me. My mind still isn’t made up on what the hell I should do, but she offered to bring tacos if I made the margaritas.

Since I’m tired of being stuck in my own head and love Mexican food, I agreed.

“Alright, now that you’ve eaten three tacos and finished one drink, it’s time.” She smirks, and I pretend to have no clue what she’s referring to.

“Let’s do pros and cons,” she suggests, and I groan at the idea. “Yep, we’re doing it. So, cons, I already know…” She lifts a finger and begins counting. “Your friendship could take a shit if the relationship doesn’t work out. That’s an obvious one. Um…his jeans are too tight and—”

“Hadleigh!” I throw a pillow at her, nearly knocking her margarita on the floor. “His jeans are fine.”