Dirty Law

“Love is an action, Law, and you’ve acted with lies.” I waved my hand at him. “You know what? I don’t even know why I’m bothering. It’s like trying to explain morals to Hannibal Lector.” I rubbed my temples, my fingers numb in the cold air.

“Nami please.” Law gripped my hands with his. “I promise if you don’t like what I have to tell you, I will leave. I will leave Salt Lake City and never come back.”

I stared at my hands. They looked so small encompassed in his. For a moment, I felt warm. For a moment, I felt safe. I let myself be comforted by his promise and pleas, but then I came back to reality. Slowly, I slid my hands out.

“How can I be sure you won’t break that promise, too?” I asked.

Laws brows crinkled, as if thinking, and then he pulled out his phone. He typed something into it before returning it to his pocket. “Done,” he said.

“Done?” I asked incredulously. I nearly shrugged him off but then I felt my own phone buzz.

“I sent you my contact at GEM,” Law explained. “What I’m about to tell you will get me fired. I’ll have no choice but to leave Salt Lake City.” Keeping my stare pinned on Law, I felt the outline of my phone over my jeans. Partially satisfied, I removed my hand and lifted my arm, gesturing toward the street.

“Lead the way.” Law walked past my outstretched arm and to his car. When he reached his car, he opened the door for me, but I shook my head. “I’m not getting in a car with you. I’ll follow.”

As Law started his car and pulled off the curb, I contemplated turning around and driving home. I thought about driving past my home and out of the state. I could drive until I reached the end of the world. I wouldn’t have to face what Law had in store for me. I wouldn’t have to be Nami DeGrace any more. The rape wouldn’t have happened. My world wouldn’t have been shattered, and I never would have tried to put the pieces back together. I never would have cut myself with the shards.

Instead I followed Law, because as much as I wanted to disappear, I wanted to see clearly more. I wanted the fog on the glass to fade and I wanted the world to show me its face, even if it was ugly. I was done with secrets and I was done with lies. There was always going to be that part of me that wanted to run and hide, but I didn’t want that part to own me. I wanted to scream so loud that it was tattooed on the ears of humanity that Nami DeGrace could handle anything that was thrown at her.

And I was starting with Law.

Law pulled into his hotel parking lot and I followed. We were silent as we entered the elevator and our silence continued when we reached his floor. Memories flooded me as we walked down the hallway. I remembered all that Law had done for me. I couldn’t help but remember how he’d taken care of me when I was hurt, how he’d bathed me and treated me so well. I remembered all he’d shared with me.

How much of that had been true? How much had been lies? Maybe I would never know. Law placed his keycard over the lock and I braced myself for yet another reality.

“Becca Riley was raped by Mitch Morris,” Law said, keeping his stare on me. I blinked a few times and shifted my position on the chair I’d been sitting on for fifteen minutes. After coming inside his room, Law had offered me a drink. I’d declined. Since then we’d sat quietly, neither daring to break the calm. Everything was the same about the room. The same plush wingback chairs. The same pale yellow glow from the lamps. The same charming paintings stuck to the wall. Everything was the same, until he said that.

How was I supposed to respond? Part of me wanted to deny it, to say that he was lying and making it up. I nearly did, too. I nearly called him out and said he was making it up and Becca Riley wasn’t raped. I had my mouth open, ready to call her a liar and a—

A what?

A whore?

What everyone else had called me?

“What does that have to do with me?” I finally asked. Let’s say I could believe Morris had raped her; well, that still left me with a crapload of other questions. Like, why me? Why didn’t she help me? Why did she fucking murder Raskol?

“I think Becca can answer that question best.” Law looked away.

“What do you—” I stopped dead as Becca emerged from the adjoining room. I’d never paid the door any mind, because it was always locked and I’d assumed the other room was locked as well. Mistake. Apparently the room next to his was filled with vipers of the Riley species.

“What the fuck is this?” I exclaimed, standing up and out of my chair.

“Nami, please let me explain,” Riley said, reaching a hand out to me as she stepped farther into the room.

“Don’t you fucking talk to me!” I looked from Riley to Law and back to Riley, disbelief racking my body. “What the hell is this?”

“Law has been helping me for a few years, ever since he got assigned to Morris,” Riley explained.

“What?” I sputtered, looking at them both again. “Is this why you had me come? So you could both attack me?”

“No.” Law’s voice was smooth as velvet, but I wouldn’t be soothed. “I needed you to understand, and this was the only way.”

“Why did you kill Raskolnikov?” Ignoring Law, I shot at Riley. She looked at Law, confusion marring her features.

“Her dog,” Law explained.

“My dog?” I wanted to scream. He wasn’t just a dog. He was my best friend, and she had brutally thrown him over the side of a mountain. I was supposed to play nice with her now because Morris had raped her as well? Morris had raped me and I didn’t go throwing dogs over the sides of mountains.