Elastic Heart

“I need to go.” I had to get out of there. Whatever was happening between me and Law was not good. As I turned to leave, Law grabbed me by the elbow.

“Why do you need to go?” His gaze pinned me again. It was more than intense; it was brutal. I bit my lip, not sure how to respond. Suddenly I was thinking so many thoughts. So many inappropriate thoughts.

I couldn’t focus.

All I saw was Law. I saw his buttoned shirt, but I knew what lay beneath it. I saw his five o’clock shadow on his sharp jaw. I saw his gaze hardened to petrified wood.

“You don’t want to know,” I spat. He wouldn’t want me. I was ruined. I was used. I didn’t need his confirmation on that. Law loosened his hold on my elbow, but still held me.

Leaning closer, so close I could smell the mint on his breath, Law said, “Try me.”

I looked around, searching for anywhere to escape. We were in the living room section of his suite, bracketed by lavish couches and chairs. The balcony was a few feet away and for a moment I contemplated jumping off, because from my position I couldn’t reach the door. Law held me tight and now his lips were only millimeters away from mine. Law thought he was playing with fire, but he didn’t realize I was just ash. I’d already burned up and out. There was nothing left of me. Once he tasted me, he would see. He would realize I was just ruin and embers.

With determination, I closed the distance between us and kissed him.

Amazing was an understatement. It was like pure animalism. For a moment I thought he reignited the fire in me. I thought he turned the ash to kindling, but then Law pulled back. Before he could reject me, I turned away.

“See?” I said, trying to pull out of his grasp. He didn’t want me. No one would ever want me again. I snapped my arm free and ran past him toward the exit.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Law growled, pushing me against the door.

“What are you doing?” I gasped as Law spu

n me around.

“Kissing you back.” Before I could respond, Law’s mouth was on mine. He tasted even better than he smelled, if that was possible. I expected rough and harsh, but he was sweet. His tongue lightly grazed the seam of my lips, causing me to lean toward him. He nipped at my bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth. I groaned.

It had been so long since someone had sucked my bottom lip…since someone cared about me. I threw my arms around his neck just as Law said, “I don’t think we should do this.”

It felt like ice had been dumped into my stomach. I tried to pull my arms back so I could wrap them around myself, but Law held them to his neck. I averted my gaze.

Slut. Whore. Liar. The words popped into my head unbidden.

“Nami, look at me,” Law growled. “Nami this has nothing to do with you.” I refused to look at him, keeping my eyes firmly on the floor, until he said, “I’m afraid.”

I scoffed. “What are you afraid of?”

“Hurting you.” My eyes darted to his briefly. Was he serious?

“I can handle it.” If this was how Law planned to hurt me, then it was much better than what I’d imagined. I nipped at his lower lip, trying to show him that I really could take it. Law groaned into my mouth, his palm grasping the back of my skull. I pulled back, saying, “Plus, maybe I want to be hurt. Maybe I don’t want a nice guy. Maybe I don’t want sweet.” Maybe I didn’t deserve any of that.

Law shook his head, eyes wary. “I’m a nice guy, Nami. Who said I couldn’t be sweet? I’m a perfectly sweet guy. I can worship you like you deserve. Still…” Law trailed off, burden heavy in his gaze.

“Just kiss me, Law, make me forget.” Law’s face changed at my request. It was subtle, but I caught it. Like I said, I caught everything now. Placing both hands on either side of my face, Law pulled me to him. His lips crushed against mine.

His tongue waged a war to conquer mine. His breath was hot against my lips and his stubble lightly scratched against my chin. For that brief moment, everything was perfect. It was as if all life ceased the minute we came together.

His tongue was in my throat. I tried to close my mouth but he was too strong. He shoved it between my teeth, the force reminding me of a dental appointment. I tasted him. It was foreign and wrong.

I gasped as the memory blasted through me. Shoving off Law, I stood alone, breathing heavily.

“Nami, what is it?” Law asked, concerned. “What’s wrong?” What was wrong was that Morris was everywhere. I would never escape him. I pulled the door behind me open without a word and dashed out of the room. I heard Law calling after me, but I didn’t respond.

I couldn’t bear to tell him that his kiss reminded me of the rape.

I sat in the bar contemplating life. I didn’t go to bars any more, but after my night with Law and my newly formed plan to take Morris down, I needed a drink. The place was an utter dive. Nestled on the wrong end of State Street, no one cared who I was; they were all way past drunk.

The lights were nearly nonexistent. A couple of hard-looking women played pool in the back. I nursed my drink at a sticky wooden table. If I was going to go through with my plan that night, I needed a dose of liquid courage.