A Devious Desire

'I know I've treated you badly, but you must listen. Allow me to speak is my own defence.' And with a quick return to his usual self he pinned her with a look of arrogant authority. 'You're my wife—you owe me that much.'

Intrigued, and with a glimmer of hope in her shattered heart, Saffron said, 'So talk.'

'Can we sit down first?' he asked, and she allowed him to lead her to the bed,. They sat side by side, not touching.

'When I first met you, you attacked me, infuriated me and entranced me al at the same time. I thought I was too old for love, didn't really believe in it. I told myself it was simply sex, a fierce chemical reaction whenever ï was near you. I was determined to have you is my bed.'

'I remember.' Saffron stalled slightly as the image of a near-naked Alex the first morning on the yacht rose up to tempi her.

'Yes. Well.' Alex turned slightly and, lifting his hand, brushed a few golden curls from her brow. 'A red headed vision of loveliness, you fascinated me so much that I didn't care if you were another of my mother's traps. In my conceit I thought it was only a matter of time before you fell into my arms. But you proved me wrong.'

If only he knew, she thought, that from the first day she'd been aching for him. She lowered lier eyes, her gaze fixed on her hands clasped in her lap. 'A first for you, so doubt,' she said with a tinge of sarcasm. She wanted to believe him, but. . .

'Damn it, look at me, Saffron!' Use forceful command surprised her, and her eyes flashed to his as he grasped both her hands in his much larger ones. 'Cut the sarcasm and give me a chance. Give us a chanœ.'

'Us'. His voice was persuasive, deep and soft as velvet. She looked at him and oh, how she wanted to trust him!

'You were a first for me, a woman who wasn't mine for the taking. I had never had that trouble before. I'm a wealthy man; women fall over themselves for my money, and I thought you would be the same.'

'You believe I am the same,' Saffron could not help inserting. 'Your deal said as much.'

Alex turned, her hands over in his, his thumbs rubbing her palms, seeding tremors of delight through her. 'I said a lot of things I didn't mean.' He raised his dark eyes to her face. 'But you drove me to it, Saffron. When you left Greece for London, I told myself it didn't matter,I would see you again, but the very next day I was telephoning you. I missed you. But I was still not prepared to admit it was anything more than sex, even when I followed you to London and took you out to dinner and back to my apartment. It was only when you waited out that night after demanding marriage that I began to worry.'

'You, worry?' Saffron could sot imagine anything bothering the indomitable Alex.

'Yes; I'm as human as the next man. Very human,' he husked, and, lifting her hands, he pressed a kiss on each. palm.

'No. You said talk; the truth.' Saffron knew they had to get everything out in the open; there could be no secrets between than if their marriage was to have any chance at all.

'Yes.' He smiled grimly. "The truth. I spent a sleepless night, and convinced myself marriage was a good idea. A good deal. I was nearly forty, it was time I thought of an heir, it would make my mother happy, and I got you in my bed. I refused to admit to myself it was anything more. Even when ï proposed the next day I was still deluding myself.'

Saffron knew all about delusions; hadn't she suffered from the same virus, with her stupid plot for revenge? 'Alex. . .'

'Let me finish, Saffron—now, while I have the serve. I spent all last night preparing this speech and I ha

ve to do it.'

This was an Alex she had never seen before—her all- powerful husband was uncertain, nervous, even contrite! 'Go on,' she prompted softly.

'On our wedding-day, putting the ring on your finger, I was exultant. Arrogantly I congratulated myself on having got the girl I wanted, desired above all others, without having to admit I was in love. I couldn't wait to get you alone in Paris. But my devious desire backfired spectacularly on our wedding night when you told me the reason behind your demand for marriage.'

She gazed up at his sombre face and saw the lingering trace of remembered pain in the depths of his dark eyes. How could they have got it so wrong? she asked herself, moisture glazing her eyes. 'I accused you of being little better than a pimp,' she said with a regretful shake of her head.

'I could have killed you then.' Alex's eyes flashed briefly with remembered anger. 'That the woman I was finally beginning to realise I loved could think so badly of me, that I could be so easily deceived only proved what I had always known: love made one vulnerable and was to be avoided at all costs. But I couldn't let you go, I wanted you too much, so I suggested our bargain.'

'Suggested? Ordered more like,' Saffron corrected him, then lifted her hand from his and reached up to stroke her slender fingers down his hard cheek. He had said he loved her again. Perhaps it was her turn to be brave and take a chance, try to expíale,

'I confessed the truth on our wedding night not because I wanted revenge, but simply because I knew I loved you, and I couldn't go through with a marriage made for all the wrong reasons. I think I secretly hoped that if I could forgive the fact that you owned the club that destroyed Eve and you could forgive my stupid bid for revenge then maybe we could start again.'

'You loved me then?' Alex queried in amazement. 'Enough to think that badly of me and still forgive me?' His voice was hoarse and, slipping an arm around her narrow shoulders, his free hand covering hers where it rested on his cheek, he continued, 'You humble me with your love and compassion, Saffron, and to think I repaid you by making love to you on our wedding night in anger. Hurting you, destroying your love. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be.' Safe in his arms with his avowal of love echoing in her heart, she freely confessed, 'You didn't hurt me; it was the most wonderful experience of my life. I enjoyed it.'

'That has been part of my trouble,' Alex said ruefully. 'I enjoy you too much. I've never known or imagined a woman like you. In my arms, in our bed, you're so beautiful, so passionately responsive, you make me lose all control. It frightens me.'

'It's the same for me,' Saffron murmured.

'But don't you see?' he swept on. 'Because sex between us was so fantastic, when I got you on Serendipidos, in my conceit, I smugly concluded that our deal was perfect and much better than mushy avowals of love. You were great friends with my mother and I was your first and only lover; there was no way you would leave me.'