The Virgin's Debt to Pay

‘I agree. I was going to say the same thing.’

‘That’s good,’ Nessa said quickly, even as something curled up inside her. Some very pathetic part of her that had hoped that he might refuse to agree.

Then Luc stood up and walked over to the window. Nessa stood too, still feeling that nausea in her stomach. It got worse.

He turned around, hands in his pockets. ‘As you said, you’re here to focus on a job, a job that you’ve proven to have a great talent for. That’s the most important thing now.’

Of course it was, because it was bringing the Barbier name respect and success. And as Nessa had learnt, Luc’s business and reputation were everything to him. She couldn’t begrudge him that. Not after everything he’d been through. But it was clear that he had no interest in anything outside that. Certainly not a personal life, with love, fulfilment, or family.

As if reading her mind, he said, ‘My life isn’t about relationships, Nessa. I don’t have anything to offer you except what we’ve shared. There are other women who understand that and can accept it. You’re different and, believe me, that’s a good thing. But I don’t do fairy-tale endings. For me...the novelty has worn off.’

The novelty has worn off. The sheen had gone from his naive virginal lover. Nessa should be thanking him for being so brutally honest, but she just felt incredibly sad, and sick.

She lifted her chin. ‘I’m not as naive as you might think, Luc. And I don’t believe in fairy tales either.’ Liar... whispered that voice. Nessa ignored it.

‘I’m ready to leave now, if you want to let your driver know.’

For a long moment there was silence and Nessa felt tension rise in the room. Eventually Luc said, ‘Of course, I’ll call him now and let him know you’re coming down.’

So polite. So civil. So devastating. So over.

Nessa turned and left the room and when she reached her own bathroom she couldn’t keep the nausea down any longer. She looked at herself in the mirror afterwards and saw how pale she was.

It was time to get a grip on herself again and forget anything had happened between her and Luc. Do the race, win the money, pay off Paddy’s debt. That was her focus now. Nothing else.

* * *

Four days later Nessa was tired and aching all over from training so hard. François appeared at the door to Sur La Mer’s stall where Nessa was rubbing him down and trying hard not to let her mind deviate with humiliating predictability to Luc Barbier.

She’d almost hoped that when she first sat on Sur La Mer, he’d throw her off. But he’d been a dream to ride and she’d connected with him immediately. François had been ecstatic.

Luc hadn’t appeared once at the gallops to watch them train, but then one of the other jockeys had pointed to the CCTV cameras and told her that Luc often watched remotely from screens in his office.

Nessa knew he was at the stables because he’d returned from Paris the day after she’d arrived. The thought that he was watching her progress but avoiding any more personal dealings with her slid through her ribs like a knife, straight to her heart.

François was looking at her as if waiting for a response and Nessa blushed to have been caught out daydreaming. ‘I’m sorry, did you want me for something?’

‘It’s Luc—he wants to see you in his office. It’s in the main house on the first floor.’

The roiling in her gut intensified. The ever-present nausea that never seemed to quit. Nessa dusted her hands off and patted Sur La Mer before following François back out, careful to lock the stall door behind her.

He left her at the main door of the house and she went in, making her way up to Luc’s office. The door was closed and she took a deep breath, hating that she felt so jittery and on edge at the thought of seeing him again.

She knocked lightly.

‘Come in.’

She pushed the door open and Luc was standing behind his desk in jeans and a T-shirt. For a moment Nessa felt so dizzy and light-headed she thought she might faint. She clutched the doorknob like a lifeline.

‘You wanted to see me?’

It was only then that she noticed he was on the phone. And he looked grim. He held the receiver towards her. ‘It’s Paddy.’

For a second she just looked at him. Her brain felt sluggish. ‘Paddy...?’

Now he looked impatient. ‘Your brother.’

Nessa moved forward feeling as if she were under water. Weighed down. It was shock. She took the phone and Paddy’s familiar voice came down the line. ‘Ness? Are you there?’