A Monster's Beauty (In the Arms of Monsters 3)

She met Preacher at the reception desk and she saw him paying. Bethany was in his arms and she was playing with his jacket, chewing on it.

She stepped up to him with a smile.

“All done?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m all done.”

She followed him outside to his waiting car. He put Bethany in her car seat and to stop her fussing, he handed her a little toy. “Is everything all good?”

“Yes. He can’t give me any guarantees of a healthy baby, but what he can do is be supportive and be there.” She lifted up her pack. “More stuff for me to read.”

“I wanted to talk to you about moving back in with me. I know you want your own space, but I think now you should be around someone. I can drop you off at work. Bethany isn’t ready for playschool yet but Anne assured me there’s no problem with having her at work with you in the play area. I can pick you up. We can have lunch.”

“Are you happy about the baby?” she asked.

Preacher jerked the car but quickly gained control. “Why the fuck would you think I wasn’t happy about the baby? Is that why you’ve been silent with me and looked fucking miserable when I came to pick you up?” he asked.

She wanted to soothe him. To not make waves but at the same time, she was tired of being the one to constantly be the voice of reason. “I told you a week ago.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Why haven’t I seen you? I told you and I haven’t seen you come near me. You haven’t called or texted me. You haven’t been by the library. You went completely silent on me and I don’t understand it. I know a baby wasn’t something we had planned.”

“When have we ever planned it?”

“This isn’t a time to joke around. I haven’t had a very good relationship between the fathers of my children and my pregnancies and to be honest, I’m trying not to freak out right now. I know I unloaded this on you and it’s a lot of pressure, but I’m dealing and I’m a lot younger than you.”

Preacher pulled the car to a stop and she wanted to storm out and walk away. It was what a child would do, but she didn’t have tha

t luxury.

“If you must know, a moment hasn’t gone by when I haven’t wanted to talk to you. To hear your voice, to know you’re okay.”

“All it would’ve taken was a single phone call.”

“I know. I would’ve heard your voice and I would’ve come to you. You’ll always be the person I come running to, Robin. I love you more than anything in the world and it scares me at times.”

Tears filled her eyes at his honesty. She couldn’t recall him ever being this open with her, only when she didn’t have her memories, but that didn’t completely count, did it?

“Since you told me about the pregnancy, I’ve had a lot of shit going down. I had some business to attend to with Dog. I’ve also gone to see my lawyer about your ability to marry. He’s looking into your and Reaper’s marriage.”

“Oh.” She didn’t want to think about her marriage to Reaper. It had been something he’d forced her into and it didn’t exactly contain many happy memories. Her life with Reaper confused her. Whenever she thought about him dead, she was a little sad. How could she not be? Bethany would grow up without a father. But then she would allow herself to remember the first couple of weeks he’d taken her. The horror, the pain, the abuse. She’d suffered it all at his hands, and he hadn’t cared. He’d laughed because as far as he was concerned, he’d been hurting Preacher through her.

Reaper’s entire plan had been to get her pregnant and make her love him. She had loved him in a way, but not completely, and certainly not after knowing what he’d done. Those men had hurt her in ways she didn’t like to think about. Those memories were the ones she no longer wanted or needed.

“I’m not angry at you about what happened. I love you more than anything in the world. I would die for you.”

“You don’t have to be so drastic,” she said, trying to smile.

Whenever he told her that he loved her, it always, without fail, brought happiness into her heart. There were no other words for it. “I don’t think I could live with anything happening to you.”

“Nothing will happen to me.”

“You’re so sure of yourself.”

“I know my limits. I know what I need to do.”

“I sometimes worry that he’s not gone,” she said. The words were a mere whisper as she was too afraid to say them out loud.