Kill the Dead (Sandman Slim 2)

“It’s not your couch.”

I sit.

There’s a black hotel phone on almost every flat surface in the room. Lucifer sits across from me and picks up the one on the coffee table between us.

“Desk? Would you ring Dr. Allwissend’s room and tell him to come to my suite immediately? Thank you.”

“If you’re doing that for my benefit, don’t bother. I’ve got my own doctor.”

“Do you mean the little girl or the missing old man?”

“Sounds like Kasabian’s been earning his keep.”

“He told me about the girl. As for Kinski, it’s part of my job description to keep track of all of Heaven’s rejects. You never know when you might need an archangel.”

“Maybe you can hire him for a party like those idiots tonight. He can turn your guests into pillars of salt.”

Lucifer takes off his jacket and tosses it onto a chair. Gets a cut-crystal bottle from the end of the table, fills two glasses, and slides one in front of me. When I reach for it, I can feel the wet spreading from my stomach down to the tops of my legs.

“Does it hurt?”

“Is this Aqua Regia?”

“Yes.”

“Then it won’t hurt for long.”

“Was it a bullet or the jump from the car that did that?”

“A lucky shot from the rifle, I think. I’d still be on my back if it was the shotgun. It’s not too bad. He hit my side, so the shot went through and through. No bullets inside me this time. But I seem to be losing a lot of blood.”

“The doctor will be here soon.”

“I want to call Kinski.”

“Be my guest.”

Both of my hands are covered in blood. Not helpful when you’re trying to dial the tiny keypad on a cell phone.

Surprise, surprise. I get Kinski’s voice mail.

“Goddamn it, doc. Where are you? I’m bleeding to death and all I’ve got here is Lucifer, a stapler, and a couple of cocktail napkins. You said to get help from Allegra, but she doesn’t know how to handle stuff like this. Please call me back.”

I go back and drop down onto the couch.

“Did you have a nice chat?”

“Do you know where he is?”

“No.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I have a general idea, but he’s a powerful fellow. Angels are very good at not being seen or heard when they don’t want to be.”

“Then what use are you?”

“None. We angels have outlived our time. We’re superfluous. But I thought you already knew that.”