Aloha from Hell (Sandman Slim 3)

“Hell. Thank Medea for getting us together. I owe the old witch a candygram.”

She looks at Samael.

“You’ll look after him, right?”

“For you, dear, of course.”

“That’s sweet, Sam,” I say. “You’re getting as sentimental as the angel.”

He gives me a look that’s a lot more like the Infernal prince than I’ll ever be.

“Because I am an angel. And you’re the Scarecrow. A charming fellow. Now, if you only had a brain.”

“I wonder if they still get cable down here? I’m going to have to check that.”

Samael looks at Alice.

“See? He

I sit in Mason’s desk chair.

“I really have no fucking idea what I’m supposed to do. The angel was the smart one.”

“Try reading a book. There’s a library one floor down. Try reading up on how some of the smarter Greek kings did it.”

“None of them are audiobooks, are they?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Damn.”

“Good-bye, Jim,” says Alice.

“That’s ‘Lucifer’ to you, girlie.”

She smiles a crooked smile.

“See you around, you devil.”

I blow her a kiss.

They’re gone. And I’m alone in Hell again.

That’s not a bad title for a song. Maybe I’ll look up Hank Williams tomorrow.

They’re gone maybe thirty seconds when someone calls my name from the balcony. I pick up Mason’s black blade and go outside.

It’s Josef. He looks like he went in through a meat grinder and got hit by a truck on the way out.

He whispers in a broken, damaged voice, “You betrayed us.”

“All I did was betray a betrayer, so if you’re here for an apology, you can kiss my ass on the way out.”

“I never betrayed you.”

“Really? The thing with the wanted posters kept bugging me. Jack couldn’t have made it back in time. Mason was still into his war plans, so he wouldn’t have made the posters unless he knew I was going to Eleusis. That’s where you come in. You knew that’s where I was going.”

“What about your so-called friends? The chattering head. Or the disgraced priest. He’s consorted with darker souls than yours.”