Accidental Acquisition (Kindred)

Jillian said nothing, only nodded. Maybe her friend was right, she thought. Maybe she should give things a little more thought. After all, did she and Kalis really have to get bonded? Maybe there was some work-around where she wouldn’t have to come face to face with the huge bear-thing again. She would have to consider it and maybe talk to the big Kindred about some kind of compromise in the next few days.

She had no idea that she was out of time.

41

Kalis was waiting for her at the door to her suite. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his broad chest but when he saw Jillian coming down the corridor, he straightened up and looked at her expectantly.

“Kalis? What are you doing here?” She was aware that her voice was coming out thin and brittle, and she tried to make it sound more normal. “I mean, is there something I can do for you?” she asked, in her best professional, “I am your boss and nothing else” tone.

“I’ve come to say goodbye,” he rumbled.

No “Mistress,” no “sweetheart”—just that deep voice of his, filled with a sad kind of certainty.

“What?” Jillian was taken aback. “Goodbye? Where are you going? Did you find another job?”

She wouldn’t be surprised if he had. The working conditions between them since they’d ended their relationship so abruptly were increasingly tense and uncomfortable.

But Kalis was shaking his head.

“No, I’m not going to another job—I’m leaving the Mother Ship.”

“What?” She stared at him blankly. “But I thought you loved it here!”

“No, Jillian—I loved you,” he said softly. “I still do. But if we can’t make it work, I need to get away. It hurts too fucking much being in the same space with you all day without being able to touch you and taste you and take you in my arms—”

“Look, we can have sex, if that’s what you want,” Jillian broke in quickly. “I can eat some of that bonding fruit that Suzanne swears by and we can do whatever you want to.”

Kalis gave her a long, level stare.

“It’s not just sex I want with you—it’s bonding sex,” he rumbled. He looked at her pleadingly. “Can’t you just give my Ursus a chance, Jillian? He would never hurt you.”

Jillian crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

“Look, if it was you in there, just in another form, I might consider it. But you’ve pretty much told me that the, uh, Ursus is a separate entity who kind of just shares your body. You don’t really control him—you don’t even remember much of what he does when he takes over. So how can you promise me he won’t hurt me?”

“Because he’s part of me,” Kalis said earnestly. “He has the same feelings of love and caring for you that I do. Even now, I can feel how much he wants you…”

But that was the exact wrong thing to say—at least from Jillian’s perspective. The idea of the huge, Grizzly thing wanting her brought to mind images of bloody carnage and bear attacks. She’d seen pictures once, on the Internet, of the remains of a human victim after a bear had gone after him. All the meat had been stripped from his thighs, leaving the bloody bones of his femurs bare…

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, but it’s like you’re asking me to have a threesome with a monster—a giant predator. It’s not acceptable.” She leaned forward and put a hand on his arm. “I want to be with you, Kalis—I really do! But meeting that thing you keep inside you again, up-close and personal, is a deal breaker. I just can’t do it.”

He sighed deeply and gently removed her hand.

“I’m sorry too. Because you can’t just have half of me, Jillian.”

She felt a lump in her throat.

“Can’t we just be together without bonding?” she asked, hating the pleading she heard in her voice but feeling unable to stop it. “Can’t we just have a regular relationship like humans do?”

Kalis shook his head.

“That’s like asking, ‘can’t we just chew the food and then spit it out without swallowing.’ Eventually, you’d starve. Kindred have to bond with their mates—without a bond, we’d both be miserable after a while.”

“I was perfectly happy without the bond before,” Jillian pointed out bitterly. “You’re the one who’s demanding that we take this extra step that seems completely unnecessary to me.”

Kalis shook his head again.

“I’m sorry if I’m not explaining it the right way, but a bond is vital if we’re going to stay together. So if we’re not going to bond, I have to leave. Being around you and knowing I can’t have you is just…” He sighed. “It’s just too damn painful.”

“I’m sorry too,” Jillian said. The lump in her throat was growing and her eyes were stinging again. God, she hated to cry and she’d already done it once that night, when she was talking to Suzanne. “Where…where will you go?” she managed to ask, squeezing the words out past the ever-growing lump in her throat.