Fat

“That’s the way to do it.”

“See, I knew you’d understand.”

Kim removed the dress after having a final twirl, and for the first time, Elsa was a little envious.

“Mom bought me a new dress and keeps asking me to wear it. It doesn’t fit.” Elsa left the closet to give Kim some privacy.

Sitting on the bed, Elsa hated how sad she felt.

Losing weight was something she was doing to try to make her mom happy. Just that morning, Elsa had to listen to her moan once again about the bad stuff inside pancakes. What her mother didn’t know was that Elsa was trying out lower fat versions of the recipes. She’d found a really cool food blog online, and had started to be inspired. Nothing she did was ever good enough for her.

Her cell phone pinged, and she crawled off the bed to the floor to see who it was.

Noah: U seemed sad today. Want to talk about it?

Elsa: No.

It was only Thursday night. She’d have to see him tomorrow and Saturday. For the first time since she started her new healthier regime, she didn’t want to go.

Noah: Come on. I’m your motivator, your hot little body builder. Talk to me.

Elsa: Can’t. I’m with Kim. Talk to you later.

She turned her phone to silent, and smiled at Kim as she came out.

“Don’t let your mom get you down. She does love you.” Kim sat beside her. They leaned against the bed, and Elsa sniffed up, trying to stop the threat of tears. She hadn’t cried in a long time, and she really didn’t want to do it now.

“Oh, Elsa, what’s wrong?”

“I’m tired of being fat.” She covered her face with her hands. “With the way Mom is, anyone would think I’m this disgusting, horrible … thing that can’t stop shoving another cookie in my mouth.”

Kim wrapped her arms around her, and held her close. “Ignore her.”

“Why can’t my mom be like yours? She supports you, and she doesn’t nag you.”

“She nags me all the time.”

“Only because you don’t always wear dresses. Your mom wants to pretty you up. Me? My mom just wants me to be slim, to lose weight so I can look pretty like all the other dolls that are there.”

“Then how about we go shopping for you?” Kim asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Come to this prom party, and instead of going in something that is going to be too tight, and leave you uncomfortable, you and I will pick something out.”

“You know my mom always picks my clothes.”

“Yeah, and she can still pick out the dress. You don’t have to wear it.”

Elsa thought about it, and it actually made her feel better. “Thank you, Kim.”

“You’re like a sister to me. Don’t let your mom change who you are. You’re a beautiful woman, Elsa, inside and out. You don’t need to be a size zero to be amazing. I think you’re amazing.” Kim rested her head on her shoulder. “Best friends forever?”

“BFFs all the way.”

Holding her friend’s hand, Elsa let the last of the tears fade away.

****

“Do you think I’m an asshole?” Kurt asked.

Noah looked up from his phone toward his friend. “Why do I feel this is going to be a trick question?”

“I’m being serious. What do you think of me?”

“Dude, if this is your way to come out, don’t try to get with me. I like girls. If you’re gay, I’m cool with that.”

“I’m not gay.”

“You sure?”

Kurt launched a pillow at him, and Noah caught it, throwing it back. He was pressing some weights as Kurt was pretending to study. They were having a sleepover, which was so fucking lame. Noah couldn’t remember the last time this happened. Kurt just turned up with a bag, and a pizza, expecting to spend the night.

Noah stared at his phone wondering if Elsa would call or text. He hadn’t responded to her last text, but he really hoped she’d tell him what was wrong.

Today in school he’d seen how upset she had been, and throughout the day he’d wanted to ask her. No chance opened up for him to go and see her, or to even talk to her.

“Are you listening to me?” Kurt asked.

“Sorry, dozed off. What?”

“I’m your best friend, and you’ve dozed off. What kind of friend are you?”

“The kind you crash on at night to have a lame ass sleepover as if we’re kids.” Noah released his weights, and stood up, rotating his arms. “What were you talking about?”

“I think I’ve got a problem.”

“If it itches, smells, or has swollen up, go and see a doctor.”

“Noah, shut the fuck up. I’m having a real crisis right now, and it’s pissing me off.”

“Fine, fine, fine.” Noah took a seat, and stared at his friend. “What is it?”

“Girls, we like them right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a … type of girl you like?”