Ugly Beast (Hell's Bastards MC 1)
“You want me to leave?” Raven asked.
She gripped the handles tighter.
“Take care of yourself and Raven.”
“I will,” she said. “Ride safely.”
He nodded.
Neither of them spoke, merely staring at each other. Part of her wanted to run into his arms and beg him not to go. She’d heard the women talking about missions and rides being extremely dangerous.
He doesn’t want you.
You’re a nuisance to him.
“This is getting kind of creepy, and I really don’t know what to do right now,” Raven said. “Do you two want to go and have a quick fuck session? Jump each other’s bones. Pretend you don’t hate each other.”
Abriana pulled her away. “I’ll see you when we get back.”
She didn’t wait for a response and began wheeling Raven away from the parking lot. She didn’t go back into the clubhouse but took her friend out toward the tree where they sat most days.
“When I’m able, I’m cutting this fucking thing down.”
“Why would you do that?” Abriana asked.
“I’ve never been so fucking sick and tired of seeing the same thing.” Raven shook her head. “You want to tell me what all the staring was about?”
“Nothing.”
“You’ve been miserable for a couple of days. You spend most of your time in a book or with me. When the whores come out to play, you go off to your room to hide. No offense, that’s not nothing. I smell bullshit from a mile away, and you, girl, stink.”
Abriana laughed. “Okay, something happened, but in a way, it reminded me about something important.”
“Well, come on, spill.”
“Ugly Beast and I, we’re … not the same. You know. We both were forced together in marriage, and well, we’re going to be over it soon.”
“Wait, over it?”
“Divorce.”
“I didn’t think mafia peeps could get divorced.”
“Ugly Beast is not mafia, and I don’t want to go back to it either. I’m done. I’m finished. It’s all over.”
“Abriana, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Do you … love Ugly Beast?”
Abriana paused. “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I’ve never known love.”
“Okay, okay, let me think. Do you care about him?”
“I guess.”
“If, for whatever reason Ugly Beast didn’t come home, would you care?”
“Of course I’d care. Why wouldn’t I care? Is it dangerous?” she asked.
Raven pressed her lips together. “Yes, Abriana, it’s dangerous. There is a chance of one or more not making it home.”
“Why do they have to do this if it’s such a high risk?” She couldn’t allow her tears to fall. It would show too much of a weakness. The thought of Ugly Beast not returning filled her with so much pain and anger.
“This is club life. With it comes risks, but you live by the club and die by it. Ugly Beast, he’s fierce. One of the best men I’ve ever known.”
She couldn’t handle the thought of him being hurt, especially after their last words together. She’d been such a bitch to him, and she just couldn’t handle the thought of hurting him.
“I’ve got to head back to the house,” she said. Abriana stood up.
“What? You can’t go anywhere.”
“I just need to pick something up. Please, I won’t be that long. I promise.”
“It’s against the rules,” Raven said. “You’ve got to stay here to keep you safe.”
Abriana ran fingers through her hair. “Please, Raven, you know I won’t do anything stupid, and besides, I’m not exactly wanted or anything. I just need some air.”
“I don’t like this.”
“I won’t tell anyone you let me go.”
Raven blew out a breath. “Prospect,” she said, calling to the guy in the leather jacket scrubbing the floors. He had “Prospect” on his leather jacket.
She had to get out of the clubhouse and far away from all the pain she was being flooded with. Ugly Beast didn’t want her, but she couldn’t help but feel scared for him. Their marriage was one of convenience, but that didn’t for a second mean she didn’t care about him.
“What’s up?” the guy asked, holding onto the map.
“Take her to her place. Wait with her to pack up whatever she needs, then bring her straight here, you understand?”
“Got it.”
Raven paused. “Who are you? I don’t recognize you.”
“I’ve been here two months. I mostly work the bar.”
“Huh?” Raven kept staring at him. “Okay. You owe me.”
Abriana threw her arms around her friend. “Thank you.”
“You know this means you love him, right?” Abriana tensed up. “You can try to pretend all you want. I know the truth, and so do you. Feeling this need for air and scared as you are, it means one thing; you’re in love with him. It’s okay. I’ll keep your secret. You’re not ready to share it yet.” Raven patted her leg. “Hurry up before I have to lie to Ugly Beast when he calls.” Raven winked at her.
Abriana followed the prospect out to his car. She didn’t know his name, and she climbed into the passenger seat. As they pulled out of the parking lot, she let out a sigh of relief. She didn’t want to leave the clubhouse, but staying there was just too hard.