Caspian (Carolina Reapers 8)

Heat flushed my skin with him so close, and damn he smelled good. “No,” I managed to say. “But when Hendrix turned the leftover fabric and broken stems into a makeshift football, and you became the field goal, it was pretty damn hilarious.”

He shrugged as if to say touché. “So,” he said, shifting his weight slightly. He only stood an arm’s length away, but I could feel the heat from his body in the small hallway. “What’s next on the list?”

I swallowed hard, suddenly having a difficult time breathing. “The list is done,” I said, which meant we were now alone, with a couple hours to spare. This would be the time to talk about what happened between us. Talk about what it meant, if anything, and all that other totally reasonable adult stuff. But I didn’t want to be reasonable right now. Not with him standing so close, looking at me like he wanted to reach for me but didn’t know if that was okay. “This wedding is good to go.”

Ohmigod did I just say that?

Caspian smiled, then glanced around the chapel. “Will you be this detailed and elaborate with your wedding?”

I about choked on my own tongue. “My wedding?”

“Yeah,” he said, folding those strong arms over his chest. “You know you’ll tie the knot eventually. And you plan everything. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it before.”

The question was innocent enough, but a weight settled over my chest. I had thought about it before. A lot. About a year ago, when I thought Chuck was going to propose. We’d even talked about marriage, and what we wanted a wedding to look like. We were on two separate pages with what we wanted, which is why the subject dropped and never came back up again. Or, at least, I’d thought that was why. Now, it was likely due to the fact that we were already falling apart. We just wanted different things at almost every angle, but we kept sticking together because we’d been together so long.

And, if I was really being honest with myself, I knew that. I knew that on a serious level, but when my dad passed, I’d panicked. Life had never felt so short, and I’d thrown myself into the future with Chuck as a coping mechanism.

I hadn’t even cried that much when he’d dropped me like a bad habit outside of Swirls. I was more mortified and angry and lost than anything. And yeah, a week ago, a month ago, I thought I’d wanted him back. But in reality? All I wanted was that stability in the life, in the plans we’d made. I didn’t miss him. Didn’t miss our arguments over his idea of what I should wear, how I should talk, or what I should do with my time. I didn’t miss his chaste kisses, or his total abhorrence to PDA. I didn’t miss the chiding I got when I let an F-bomb drop at a family function, and I sure as hell didn’t miss the nights I tried to get intimate with him and he’d turn me down for a video game.

“No,” I finally said, something like hope rising in my chest. I didn’t want him back. I didn’t need him back. I didn’t know exactly what that meant for the house contracts and everything, but I’d figure it out. “I wouldn’t be this elaborate,” I continued. “But it is truly beautiful.” Caspian raised his brows, waiting patiently for me to finish the answer. I shrugged. “I never like being the center of attention,” I admitted. “I’m not shy, but I don’t like everyone’s eyes on me. I’d want something small…like just us and a judge small.” My eyes widened as I realized how that sounded. “Not us,” I hurried to say, waving an arm between us as my cheeks flared. “I meant, me and whoever I end up with. Like us, not you and me. Not that you aren’t marriage material, you are. Marrying you would be like signing up for an endless supply of laughing, adventure, and orgasms—” I cut myself off, cringing at my no-filter ramble.

Caspian roared with laughter. “Well,” he said, reeling it in. “I think that should go on my resume. Marriage material,” he said, miming like he was writing with a pen. “And endless supply of orgasms distributer.”

I shook my head, my entire body on fire as I reached for the closet door to me—a dressing room. “I’m just going to go hide in here for the next decade,” I said, practically sprinting into the room.

“Now, hold on just a minute,” Caspian said, his muscled arm darting out to stop the door before it could shut. His massive frame filled the doorway, and I swallowed hard as I looked up at him. “You grant me with that amazing title after only one night?”