The Deceiver's Heart (The Traitor's Game 2)

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?I’ve seen them.” Kestra quickly glanced at me before turning back to her supper. “But he got the eyes wrong. That’s not me, not anymore.”

I held her words in my heart for the rest of the meal and noticed she kept her gaze lowered after that. I wasn’t sure if she was avoiding me or trying to avoid her own mind. Either way, she was locking up the few thoughts she still trusted and hiding them far from anyone else’s reach.

When I came in from chopping the wood, Tillie was in a chair, knitting, and Kestra was seated on the fur rug in the center of the room, pretending to read a book. Obviously pretending, because I built an entire fire and she never turned the page once and her eyes were constantly on me.

When I finished, I sat across from her, giving her room to think, to work through whatever was occupying her mind. Occasionally I put on another log or two, keeping the room comfortably warm.

At one point when I got up, I noticed Tillie’s chair was empty. She must have slipped off to bed without saying anything. Now it was only Kes and I. Did Kes know we were alone? She was sitting near the fireplace, staring at the flames, as she had been doing steadily for the past couple of hours.

I sat beside her, our hands almost touching. I wondered if she would slide hers any closer, but she didn’t. Maybe she was too lost in her thoughts to know I was here. Several minutes passed before she spoke.

“I’ve been thinking …” She went silent, then tried again. “No, I know you’re right, that Lord Endrick did something to my memories. There are too many gaps, too many inconsistencies.”

I didn’t say anything, not yet. She had to work through this on her own.

Several minutes passed before she spoke again. When she finally did, her voice was quieter than before. “I think I’m an Ironheart. Do you know what that means?”

I did know, and it terrified me. “There must be a solution.”

“What is it?” When I didn’t answer, her eyes narrowed. “You cannot wish a solution into existence.”

I hesitated, meaning she knew my answer long before it fell from my mouth. “No.” I quickly added, “But I won’t give up until I find a way.”

“Then you’ll never give up, and never succeed.” Sadness dimmed the light in her eyes. “Endrick won’t surrender control over me. We both know that.”

No, he wouldn’t.

After a long, heavy minute, she said, “Why did he do this to me, Simon? I’m nobody.”

“Nothing could be more false. If only you knew …”

Our eyes met and my breath quickened. For nearly the first time since our reunion, there was heat in her expression, a beckoning that burned deep within me. This was the real Kes.

Then she looked down again and the moment passed. “Am I an enemy to him?”

“He would say you are, yes.”

“Then why didn’t he kill me?”

“Because it’s safer to have taken your memories than to have taken your life.”

“Safer … for him?” She drew in a breath, answering her own question. “If I die, someone takes my place.”

“Yes.”

It took her time to absorb that, but she was so close to the truth, I had to wait. I had to let her find it for herself. Finally, she said, “Only one person could ever be a true enemy to him, because only one person could ever truly harm him.”

My heart drummed against my chest. Kestra knew. She didn’t want to say it, but she knew.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’ve heard the whispers around me, people who speak when they think I’m not listening. Back at the Corack camp, and here between you and Tillie and Gabe, the same word over and over. It can’t be a coincidence. They’re speaking about me, aren’t they?”

“Yes.”

She swallowed hard. “I’m the Infidante.”

Silence fell between us until she locked eyes with me, demanding an answer. “You are,” I whispered.