Hit List (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter 20)

THERE WERE TWO rooms full of vampires. Each held three master vampires in coffins with about a half-dozen lesser vamps curled around their coffins like sleeping puppies; okay, sleeping dead puppies, but still the visual was clear. The vampires in the coffins were important; the ones on the floor were not.

The two lions wanted to know why we didn't just kill the others' masters immediately. "Because if all three don't die together instantaneously, the one left could kill our people before we could finish killing their master."

So I picked three of the lesser vamps from the floor and had the three Harlequin practice simultaneous head chopping. It's harder than it sounds to decapitate a body, and trying to get three people to do it in unison sounded almost impossible, even if they were the great and fabulous Harlequin.

I let them pick the angle they wanted for the bodies, while Lisandro stayed in the hallway and tried to negotiate with Marius and the others on the stairs. I counted down for the beheadings. "One," and a finger out, "two," another finger, "three," and as I sliced down on three, the three Harlequin were supposed to decapitate the vampires.

They got settled over the sleeping vampires. I counted, motioned, and their swords were a shiny blur. Two heads came off and rolled away from the bodies. The third head took a second blow. I stared at Thaddeus, who had needed two blows.

"The angle wasn't perfect," he said.

The male lion managed to express with body language alone that they had both managed to do it just fine. I said, "I'm with him, you had all the time in the world to set up your angle. Let's pick three more and take one more practice."

I'd half expected them to protest just slaughtering the vampires, but they didn't. Either they were used to following orders without question or they weren't particularly fond of any of the vampires here. Either way, we had three more dead-to-the-world vampires lined up pretty quickly. It was also three fewer vamps for Mommie Darkest to possess once the sun went down; it was a win-win.

Lisandro called out, "Anita!"

I went for the door at a jog. I prayed that there wouldn't be any more body parts at the bottom of the stairs. I wasn't that close to Bernardo, but I liked him and I didn't want to think of him having to go through life missing bits because I hadn't figured this out in time. Yes, I know it wasn't my fault, but somehow it felt like it was.

Lisandro said, "They're going to send Bernardo's hand down next if we don't give up our weapons."

"Shit," I said, "we're not ready."

"Where is Anita?" Marius asked.

I yelled, "I'm right here, you son of a bitch." How did I keep him from chopping things off Bernardo that wouldn't grow back? Then I had another very bad, very good idea. "Get one of the heads we cut off and bring it back ASAP," I said.

Lisandro didn't argue, just ran back to the room I'd just left. I tried to reason, or at least delay them hurting Bernardo. "Why so fucking impatient, Marius? You're blocking the only exit."

"You are human," the woman yelled, "you should be honored that the Mother even wants you."

"When she can possess your body and walk around in it, we'll talk," I said.

Lisandro was back with a head in one hand and his gun in the other; with his shoulder-length hair flying out behind him, it was very modern barbarian.

I heard sounds of struggling. Was it Bernardo? "I have a present for you!" I yelled. To Lisandro I said, "Do it."

He threw the head in a graceful arc to land at the bottom of the stairs. It was perfect placement, which with a basketball wouldn't have been that impressive, but with a human head - impressive. I'd have never gotten it to land like that.

"What is that?" the woman asked.

"One of your little vampires," I said. "You send more body parts our way, we send you more heads."

"We could send you a head, too," she yelled.

"You have only two hostages; we have a dozen, and three of them are your masters, which means if they die, you die."

"Thaddeus," Marius yelled, "you wouldn't dare."

"Thaddeus isn't in charge of these negotiations; I am, and I so fucking would."

There was silence on their end, while they conferred. If we really planned on negotiating our way out of here, we'd need to do it before the vampires rose for the night. That was going to be soon. I couldn't explain how I knew, but even underground if I concentrated I could feel the coming of dawn or dusk. We were actually planning on killing most of the vampires and then escaping over the dead bodies of our enemies, but to keep them from guessing that, we had to pretend to negotiate. You always have to lie more to cover the first lie you tell; it's a rule or something.

"What do you want?" Marius asked.

What I really wanted was for the three Harlequin to work on their timing at decapitation, but out loud I said, "We want safe passage for all of us."

A moment's silence and then he said, "Of course." He knew that as soon as night fell and the Mother entered one of her vampire children she would come after us, but he would pretend that he could let us go and we'd really be free. I could pretend that we were so stupid we'd believe the first part. We began to negotiate in earnest; we were both lying, and both delaying.

How many beheadings do you have to do to get the timing perfect between three sword blows? Nine, as it turned out. How many vampires can you behead before wereanimals fifty yards away smell the fresh blood and death? Yep, same answer. The three Harlequin sliced the necks perfectly, like some executioner choreography, and the wereanimals on the stairs yelled, "You're killing them all!" "Your lovers are dead!" And the three Harlequin moved to the masters' bodies laid in their neat row. Their swords were a shine of silver, gleaming and faster than my eye could really follow. In one second a sword was raised, there was a blur of movement, and heads rolled away from the bodies. The white masks made them look like doll heads, but dolls don't bleed.

There was a scream from the stairs, and a sound almost of struggle, and then nothing. The silence was so thick, I could hear the blood in my head roaring in my ears. I wanted to call out to Bernardo and Ethan, but I forced myself to keep quiet. Were they doing the same, or were they dead?

The two lions moved toward the stairs, using the curved edge of wall to hide them from the stairs until the last minute. Then one did a quick glance up the stairs, and jerked back. He was so fast at it that I thought he'd seen the bad guys still alive, but then he took a second, longer look, and then he moved into the stairwell with the other lion following at his heels.

We waited at the entrance to the hallway. I held my breath, listening, but there was nothing to hear. Then one of the lions came down the stairs and gave the all-clear signal. We started across the open space and I felt it, night was falling. I felt it click into place, and I felt something else stir.

A cold breeze eased past me, breaking my skin out in a rush of shivers and goose bumps. A voice echoed in my head: "Necromancer."

"Run!" I yelled it, and took my own advice. No one argued with me. We ran for the stairs.