The Awakening (Montgomery/Taggert 11)

At last she grabbed a plain pink dress, since pink was the closest thing she had to red, and as she dressed she wondered what constituted winning this disgust

ing wager. A kiss on the lips, she thought. That’s all it would take. For a moment she paused and thought that if she reacted to Dr. Montgomery’s kisses with so much fervor, how in the world would she react to the kiss of the man she loved? Just thinking about it made goosebumps on her arms.

When she was dressed, she made an unscheduled trip to the bathroom, then went downstairs in search of Taylor. The maid said he was in the library. Amanda paused before knocking and took a deep breath. She was doing this for the ranch, she reminded herself.

At Taylor’s “Come in,” her hand was trembling on the latch as she slid the door back.

Taylor looked up from the desk, obviously surprised to see her, then he looked down her body coolly. “I do not believe that is the dress I chose for you.”

“There was an accident,” she answered glibly, as if she were used to lying. “At the museum a child fell against me with a piece of cake. Chocolate cake.”

“Disgusting,” he said. “Children today have no manners.”

Amanda took a breath. “Not like our children.”

Taylor looked shocked at her words, and Amanda felt a little surge of power at having so much effect on him. “Why aren’t you studying?” he asked softly.

“I wanted to talk to you,” she answered as she took a few steps closer to the desk. “I thought…” She hesitated. “I thought perhaps we could talk about our marriage plans.”

Taylor took a while to recover. He didn’t like this one little bit. Amanda was not supposed to be in the library; she was not supposed to be wearing that dress; and she most certainly was not supposed to be talking to him about marriage and…and children! He had to stop this. If she started going where she wanted when she wanted, where would she go next—to road-houses? He stood.

“Amanda, you are to—”

“I’d like to talk about our marriage,” Amanda said quickly, cutting him off. She hid her shaking hands behind her back.

Taylor walked around the desk and looked down his nose at her, his back rigid. “We will discuss our marriage when I say we will.”

For the first time ever, Amanda felt anger at Taylor. It was that odious, interfering Dr. Montgomery, she thought. He was twisting her thoughts, making her doubt what she knew to be true. “I’m twenty-two years old, I’m a woman, not a little girl,” she said in the voice of a ten-year-old.

“You are not acting like a responsible adult,” he said, his jaw hard. “You are acting like a demanding, whining, controlling shrew. You are not behaving like a woman who any man would want for a wife.”

Amanda remembered her mother’s words: that Taylor was merely being respectful to her and that he was a normal, healthy man—and she also remembered her wager. Quickly, before she lost courage, she stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips against Taylor’s.

Nothing happened. Perhaps Dr. Montgomery’s barbarism was tainting her view of life, but every time she got within ten feet of him, his hands were on her body. But Taylor didn’t bend, didn’t respond, didn’t move. She opened her lips a little but still nothing happened.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, saw him staring at her with rage. She pulled away from him. He was livid. His face was red, a vein pounded in his forehead—and Amanda was frightened. She remembered Dr. Montgomery’s words of, Do they beat you? She stood there paralyzed, looking up at him.

It took Taylor a moment to recover enough to speak. He was really, truly horrified. The woman he had so carefully taught was turning into a harlot just like his mother. Were all women alike? Were women interested in only one thing?

“Are you finished?” Taylor said at last, his voice cold enough to make his breath seem frosty. “Or perhaps you want more? Shall we copulate on the carpet? Is that what you’re after?”

“No,” she whispered. “I…”

“Have I misjudged you, Amanda? All these years I’ve thought you were different, that you were a woman worthy of love, a woman who had higher goals in life than merely procreation, and now I find that you’re no different. Tell me, have you always been lying to me? Have you ever been interested in learning?”

“Of course I have,” she said, and she felt like a harlot. “I didn’t mean—”

“Didn’t mean what?” he snapped. “Didn’t mean to act like a woman from the gutter? What kind of woman throws herself at a man?”

“But we are engaged,” she said pleadingly. “Shouldn’t engaged couples show affection for one another?”

“I haven’t shown you affection? You don’t think planning your lessons, the time we spend together, the hiring of Mrs. Gunston to take care of you isn’t a display of my affection?”

“Of course it is,” she murmured. She had never felt so low in her life. How could she have been so crude? “I’m very sorry. It won’t happen again. I apologize.”

“I find your apology difficult to believe. Perhaps I am not the man for you. Perhaps I should leave the ranch and—”

Amanda’s head came up. He didn’t want the ranch more than he wanted her. She almost smiled. “No, please don’t leave. I’ll behave; you don’t have to worry. I’ll never do anything so…so brazen again. Please forgive me. I’ll go upstairs now and study all night with no dinner, and tomorrow I’ll make you proud of me.”