Heartwishes (Edilean 5)

“I want an answer to my question.”

Tris hesitated. “Is this rhetorical or do you want an honest answer?”

Colin was silent.

“Okay, I’ll tell you the truth,” Tris said. “There’s nothing between Gemma and me except friendship, but that’s not for lack of trying on my part.”

What he was saying didn’t give Colin any peace. “Why did you drive Gemma home? Did you get her drunk?”

“You know, if you and I weren’t friends I’d deck you for that one. I have to go. Don’t talk to me again until you’re human.”

“And you stay away from Gemma!”

“Colin, I mean this, if you two beak up, I’m going after her.” Tris hung up.

24

GEMMA BURIED HERSELF in work for an entire week. Twice she drove to a grocery in Williamsburg. She didn’t want to face Ellie and all the questions about where Colin was. Or worse, have to endure looks of pity because she’d been dumped by a man the town loved.

During the week, she read constantly and made copious notes about the Fraziers’ ancestors. The family made their usual visits and were always pleasant and thoughtful. Shamus spent hours sitting with her, and she found that when he wanted to talk, he did. He brought a four-inch stack of college brochures and showed them to her and asked her opinion of where he should go to school.

Gemma had three friends who taught at some of the schools, so she called and asked questions. They were able to eliminate four of the schools as unsuitable for Shamus.

When he left, he kissed her on the cheek and said, “Welcome to the family.”

When she’d been hired, she’d never expected to become part of the family. She hadn’t thought about it much, but she’d assumed that she’d meet some people in town, maybe even a man, and that would be her social life. Involvement with the Frazier family had not been part of her imaginings. But she’d been drawn in by them and now she couldn’t imagine life without them.

Since she had no training partner, she didn’t work out once, and she was sure her muscles were turning to Jell-O.

Joce e-mailed her to yet again say thanks for giving her a day of peace. Curious, Gemma wrote back and asked if she’d told anyone about the day they’d spent together. Joce wrote back,

Are you kidding? I told everyone in town what a kind and generous person you are.

Gemma looked at the screen and grimaced. “Everyone” meant that by now Colin knew she’d spent the day with Joce, changing diapers and scrubbing the kitchen sink, and not with Tris as he’d accused her. But he’d not apologized.

For two days Gemma carried her phone with her everywhere she went and imagined telling Colin she might forgive him if he swore to never again be jealous. But he didn’t call.

At 7 P.M. every evening, she threw up. For a solid hour, she fought nausea, and she learned to just lie down and be quiet until it subsided.

It was nearly a week after Colin had made his accusations that Gemma woke up and said, “Enough!” She’d had all she could take of being miserable. She knew that what she needed to do was to take charge of her own life. She wasn’t going to waste any more of her time waiting for some man to rescue her.

She went to the desk in the library and began to make a list of what she needed to do. The most important thing was that she was pregnant. Like it or not, together with the father or not, that was the way it was, and she needed to make plans.

She knew that what Tris had said about the Frazier family helping her financially was right. She would never consider living off of them, but help would be appreciated.

A big part of her wanted to run from Edilean and never look back, but she wasn’t naive enough to think that she could raise a child absolutely alone. She thought about going to her mother, but she’d be embarrassed by her daughter being an unwed mother. No child deserved that.

No, it was better to stay in Edilean, where her child would have adoring grandparents, and where Gemma had met people who were becoming her friends.

The first thing Gemma needed was a real job, one that paid more than twenty-five grand a year. To get that, she needed to write her dissertation and get her Ph.D.

It took her less than an hour to compose a letter to her adviser. She listed six topics as possible subject matter for her dissertation, and asked for approval for one of them so she could get started.

Her best proposal was to write about women in medicine in the 1840s in rural Virginia. Tris had told her that his family had an enormous number of family documents that she was welcome to see. Historically, the Aldredges had been mostly doctors, and Gemma had found some really interesting information about them in the Frazier papers. The first doctor in their family was a Matthew Aldredge, and he sewed his own scalp back together. She thought that would be a dramatic beginning to her paper.

After she sent that letter off, she wrote four more to professors, asking if they knew anyone at William and Mary College who she could talk to about a possible teaching position there.

The only thing she didn’t know how to solve was Colin. She feared that when she saw him again she might come apart, but she vowed that she wouldn’t. They’d had a brief affair, it was over now, and she needed to—she hated the phrase, but it was appropriate—move on with her life.