The Soldier's Forever Family

“I’ll ask him,” she said cautiously. “But he could already have other plans, so don’t be too upset if he can’t join us.”

“That’s okay. I can tell him tomorrow. But I hope he can come tonight.”

Joanna was just going to call Maddie when someone rapped on the door. Though it was probably her sister, she couldn’t stop her nerves from tingling a little, just in case it was...someone else.

She told herself she wasn’t disappointed when she found Maddie standing there, looking oddly solemn. Apparently Maddie had also been out in the sun that day. Her face and arms were kissed with new color, and her long legs looked golden beneath the short hem of her sleeveless white mini.

“Hi, Jo. Where’s Simon?”

“He’s taking a shower and getting ready for dinner.” Joanna closed the door behind her sister, wondering why Maddie looked and sounded so serious. “I was just going to call to ask you to join us.”

“I’d like that. But first—there’s something I should tell you.”

“What’s going on?”

“Walt Becker tracked me down earlier to tell me that Adam took a day off work today, but he left a request for us to figure out a fair child support agreement and submit it to Walt. Adam will sign it, but he doesn’t want any more meetings and he doesn’t want to be any more involved than that. He just wants to take care of it through his lawyer.”

She kept her gaze on Joanna’s face as she spoke. “He left his cell number, said to call if we have any questions, but he made it clear he doesn’t want to be bothered unless it’s an emergency. He said he needed a few hours to clear his head, and he’ll see everyone later.”

Joanna didn’t know what she was feeling or thinking. Maybe Adam hadn’t technically taken off without a goodbye this time, assuming she could believe he’d come back later, but it was clear enough that he’d made his decision. He was choosing not to be part of Simon’s life, opting instead to be an anonymous financial donor. The easy way out.

She supposed she should have been angry with him. And maybe she was, beneath the numbness. Of course she was. For Simon’s sake—and for her own. Was Adam merely declining fatherhood—or was he rejecting any future with her, as well? Not that they’d even acknowledged the possibility, but still, maybe something real could have developed, had he been willing to let down his defenses. Had she been able to trust that he wouldn’t walk out again.

Sure, he’d had a rough childhood. But lots of people had, and plenty chose to deal with the past and move on. It irked her that he wouldn’t even try. But mostly...mostly she was just sad. Sad for Simon’s sake, though she would continue to dedicate herself to making sure her little boy had a wonderful life, even if he never knew his father. And somewhat grudgingly sad for Adam, despite her frustration.

Maybe her training as a counselor was making her read too much into their interactions, but she sensed a dissatisfaction in him that he probably couldn’t have verbalized if he tried. He was missing out on so much, too stubborn or afraid or set in his ways to commit himself to anyone. Whatever painful lessons he’d learned from his absentee father or his time at war or any other difficult experiences he’d survived, she hated to think of him always drifting, always alone, never allowing himself to appreciate what was right in front of him.

She’d known a few people who were content living nomadic lives, without roots or ties. Perhaps Adam’s father had been that way. But she wanted to believe Adam secretly longed for more, even if he didn’t realize it himself. Maybe he just hadn’t yet found the person or the place he could love enough to want to stay. Or maybe she was only fantasizing that he could be the man she wanted, rather than who he really was.

Her sister’s voice brought her out of he

r reverie. “Jo? Are you okay?”

Hearing Simon moving around in his bedroom, Joanna forced a smile. “I’m fine, Maddie. I wasn’t really expecting anything else from him.”

“Really? Nothing?” Maddie asked skeptically, proving she was aware that Joanna’s feelings for Adam had become complicated during this week.

Joanna replied evenly, “I would never force him to be a part of our lives. I won’t ask for anything he doesn’t want to give. I won’t be calling him in the future unless there’s an extreme emergency. Adam knows how to reach me if he changes his mind.”

“What about Mr. Adam?” Simon asked, appearing in the doorway just in time to hear the last part. His hair was still wet, hastily combed too flat. He’d dressed in the T-shirt and shorts she’d laid out for him, and he carried his shoes in his hand. He looked so young and innocent—and so very much like Adam.

Joanna swallowed hard before saying, “Mr. Adam is busy tonight, Simon. But Aunt Maddie wants to hear all about our day, don’t you, Maddie?”

“I don’t want you to forget one detail,” Maddie replied a little too cheerily.

“Do you want to see my starfish?”

“Absolutely.”

Watching the exchange, Joanna swallowed as she acknowledged how much Simon had bonded with Adam in such a short time. It must be a genetic susceptibility, though Maddie didn’t seem to share their weakness. But Simon was very young and eager for new experiences. After all, he didn’t even know the real connection between himself and Adam. He’d get over his disappointment and move on with his life, at least for a few years until he started asking more questions about his father. Questions Joanna would need to answer honestly and compassionately.

As for herself—well, she was resigned to carrying an Adam-size hole in her heart. A wistful longing for what might have been between them. At least she had their son to love and to love her in return. Adam was alone—and stubbornly convinced he liked it that way.

* * *

“HOW THE HELL did you find me, Walt?”

Walt chuckled as he slid onto a bar stool next to Adam. They were about an hour’s drive away from the resort. “Trevor. He said he has his magical ways of keeping tabs on you.”