A Cut so Deep (Thornes & Roses 1)

“I can do this,” I shrug easily, but even as I say it, I’m not convinced. The drive here was difficult. Being so close to her and not reaching for her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. But I did it. Now, all I have to do is ignore her, and I’ll be fine.

I can’t describe the need to be near her. Perhaps it’s because I know I can’t have her. Besides the fact that she’s far too young for me, she’s also my stepsister. She’s too innocent for me to corrupt because if I were to partake of the forbidden fruit that’s only a few meters away, I can’t guarantee that I won’t end up breaking her heart.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t notice her beauty. With her long dark hair, those luminous gold eyes, and her pouty lips, I was intrigued from the moment I first saw her. Counting in those incredible curves and her fiery personality, she’s everything wet dreams are made of and more.

And I am a man. Certainly not a blind one.

When I pull open my bedroom door, I’m met with the golden eyes of Nesrin, as she steps out into the hallway. It’s big enough to offer space between us, but it still feels too close for comfort.

“I… I don’t know if it’s time to go down for dinner,” she tells me. I should appease her, tell her I’ll show her down, but I don’t. Being an asshole has always come naturally to me. This time, it’s no different.

I offer a nod and turn to walk away. I’m halfway down the hall when Nesrin speaks to my back.

“You know, hating me because of our parents getting married doesn’t change the fact that we’re family.” Her voice carries all the way to me. I turn my head, glancing at her from over my shoulder. I take her in from where I’m standing.

She’s dressed in a pair of tight yoga pants, the color of soft gray clouds. Her top is tight, long-sleeved, thank god, but it accentuates her slight curves. She’s nothing like the girls I normally go for, so it makes no fucking sense as to why I’m so intrigued by her.

“Hate is a wasted emotion, Nesrin. It only makes us weak.”

“And what does love do?” she challenges. No woman, no girl, has ever challenged me. I can’t help but smile at her when she steps closer. The soft, gentle scent of her perfume assaults me, and my body shudders with the need to pin her against the wall. My need to touch her is visceral. I can’t explain it. I don’t like it. I never want to be weakened by emotions.

I shake my head and chuckle. “Love is an excuse for people to get addicted, obsessed, and for them to change who they are.”

“What if it doesn’t change who you are? What if it only makes you a better person, bringing out the best in who you are?” she continues, her voice coming out strained.

“Does your mother love my father?”

“My mother isn’t capable of love, never in my life have I seen her truly happy. When my father was alive, she didn’t care if he came home or not. My father, on the other hand, he loved her, he would do anything for her—”

“Then, your father was a stupid man. He did everything for her, but she never wanted it. Did she?”

“I…”

“I know this farce of a wedding is nothing more than a leg up to gain exposure. If you ask me, I think they deserve each other. Both fake. Both cold and barren. And both only in it for the money and fame.”

Nesrin’s expression changes quickly, as if I’d just slapped her. I expect her to lash out at me, but she shocks me when she nods. “I know. And that’s why I don’t want to fight with you, or Cass and Finn. I don’t have anyone in my life besides my aunt. My mother doesn’t love me. She never has. I grew up knowing that I was never going to have a normal family.”

“Well,” I say, turning to regard her fully, “if you think moving in here will bring you a normal family, you’re sorely mistaken.” I spin on my heel and head down the hall, leaving her in the darkened space.

9

Nesrin

Frustration trickles through me as I make my way to the greenhouse I spotted when we arrived. A memory assaults me with a vengeance the moment I step foot over the threshold. The last time I walked into my mother’s greenhouse, I saw him. The way he was enjoying his pleasure had heat trickling through me, reminding me of just how inexperienced I am.

I watched a scene that hasn’t left my mind since. The moment I think back on that night, jealousy burns through me, and even though I try to convince myself I was more angry than envious, I know it’s a lie.